


By Your Side

by BreakingGround



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:33:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreakingGround/pseuds/BreakingGround
Summary: Levi Ackerman has never been someone to wear his heart on his sleeve. It was a quick way to get you killed or worse from where he grew up. But even he had a bit of a soft spot for some of the people in the Underground, which is why, after a year of being with the Survey Corps, he realized he has to help other people get out. Or at least get her out.What he can't predict though is how well she's fitted for the Corps or how she will react when the opportunity is stripped from her.*It's a slow burn romance.**I suck at summaries - I'm sorry**
Relationships: Levi & Special Operations Squad | Squad Levi, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Other(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a hot minute since I've posted fanfiction, so apologies for the roughness! This story is rated M for future plans / chapters. 
> 
> I am a teacher, so I will update when I can. I have this story planned out, it's just I don't have a lot of free time to sit and write at the moment. I will try my best to update as often as I can. 
> 
> While this will be a lot of pre-Wall Maria breach, a chunk of it will also take place right around the end of Season 3. (Gotta love a good time jump.) 
> 
> I also recently discovered OVA, which means Levi's backstory isn't going to line up quite right. I made it fit for the sake of my story. 
> 
> Also, I don't know why the timeline of when Levi actually joins the Survey Corps seems to be confusing - so I just made it work for the sake of this story. 
> 
> I do hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

A petite woman leaned casually against the brick wall, watching the actions of the street. Every so often, someone would approach to talk to her, but she quickly brushed them away. She wasn’t there for the business they were requesting of her and, if they didn’t leave immediately after she would cut off their question with a resounding, “No.”Even then, there were times that she made sure they understood exactly what would be removed right then in there if they kept pushing. 

They all would leave after the last one. 

She was a child of the Underground and she was waiting. Waiting for what, it wasn’t obvious - but more likely than not, it was for some sort of score. 

Scores could come in all sorts of forms, but typically they came in the forms of stolen goods or money. Sometimes they were easy as a pickpocket and other times it would require a fight. But today there didn’t seem to be enough of the right kind of people for the picking. The ‘bleeding hearts’ of the rich or the Church that would sink into the Underground to “help people” before running straight back up to freedom, thankful they weren’t forever cursed to live there, were far and few between. 

They were the woman’s personal favorite to manipulate.

To be fair, technically the woman and her tribe she had built over the years weren’t exactly trapped, but it was still almost impossible to escape the hold the Underground had over someone that grew up there. 

But honestly, the woman wasn’t in the mood to pick a pocket or two or knock over a stack of produce into the street for the people to snag. She was riled up and agitated - looking for a fight. Unknown to the man watching her from across the street, things weren’t going as well as she managed to act. 

The man with raven black hair and grey eyes watched her for a long while, easily slipping back into the old rhythm of the streets. He knew that approaching her and asking her would be difficult, but not the hardest part. The hardest part would be giving up her life and her team, because they would call them both crazy for joining the Corps. And, besides, even in his absence, it sounded as if she had built up a presence of her own. 

Power, even a small amount of power, is a hard thing to let go of. 

But joining the Scouts saved him more than he realized, even if he had joined in quite an unconventional way, and he knew he needed to return the favor. He had to at least get her out of the Underground. And maybe, if people saw both of them, saw that these Underground kids could go on to doing something great, more people would escape the cold cavern where they lived. 

If one listened just right, they would notice a series of whistles every so often. To the unaware, they would just sound like sportatic sounds from the townsfolk, but for others they were a secret language - a way to stay connected even when far apart. A way to know when to move and attack and hold all with limiting how much information they were giving away about their position. 

So when Levi heard those two short chirps, he knew it was time to move. He had to get to the woman before she made it to the team. She would listen to him if they were alone, but the group would have more sway over him in a nanosecond. 

He slipped in and out of the shadows and crowds of people as the girl headed up the street, taking his time before he could make a move to grab her and slip her into a side ally to talk. 

As he reached her, he grabbed her arm and pulled her quickly into the ally to their left, barely having time to stop the knife that came flying up to his throat. 

Her face was curled into a snarl, blue eyes dark with a decision already made - but when she realized who had grabbed her, she relaxed, sheathing the knife in its place on her thigh and taking a step back. The light in her eyes changed. 

There were more lines around them than just a year ago, Levi realized with a start.But time in the Underground ran differently. She had done some growing up as well, and he doubted that any of it was pleasant. 

“Levi Ackerman - prodigal Underground son returned. Heard rumors you ran away to become a wall guardian. Were you not able to cut it as a soldier?”

“Huh? Do you mean the Garrison? I’m in the Survey Corps.” 

The girl snorted. “So you got out of here only to join the group with a bigger death toll than this city?”

“It’s not the same.” 

“Well, no shit. At least we don’t eat each other down here.” 

Levi grimaced at the thought. “Look, I’m on a quick leave. I came down here to talk to you -“

“Boy, I know you aren’t about to ask me to join the Corps.” 

“Alex, look -“ 

“No, you look. I finally have made my way up this shitty pile, without your help, I might add, to very close to the top. Why would I possibly leave it to start at the bottom somewhere else?”

“Because the lowest up there are still treated better than the place you have down here.” 

Alex found herself silent for a moment, studying the ground. “I can’t leave everyone.” 

“Yes you can. I did.” 

“Yeah, well, we weren’t exactly happy about it,” she mumbled under her breath. 

Levi cocked his head to one side. “What was that?” He asked with a corner of his mouth turned up. Even he had to admit that it was nice to be validated sometimes.

Alex huffed and looked away. “I know you heard me - but don’t let that go to your head!” 

Levi leaned against the brick wall and watched Alex watch the street. “I left and the world down here kept going and filled my absence with no struggle at all. The same will happen if you leave.” 

“That sounds really depressing - the fact that I am nothing better than a void to be filled.” 

“We’re the Underground. All this place is is a void filled with nameless people. People don’t give a shit about us, so we have to give a shit about ourselves.” 

Alex went silent again. This had always been how she did things; slow and methodically. Talking out every point and question she had before she made a move. Mulling over every possibility in her brain. 

Levi wouldn’t be able to force her to do anything. As much as he wanted her to come with him, the final decision would be up to her, and he would have to stomach whatever answer came from it and leave her to it. 

“What about everyone else?”

“What do you mean?” 

“Are you going to ask the rest of them to join, too, or are you picking on me?”

“I’m not picking on you, I’m talking to you because I think you could survive. I don’t think they could. Fighting people and fighting Titans aren't the same.”

“Ah, so you can tell that,huh? Just write them off like that?”

“I can write them off because I’ve known their personalities just as long as you have - and they aren’t the type of people to follow orders.”

Alex snorted, glancing over at him, “What, and you are? You used to lead down here. You gave orders, not take them.”

“Things change,”

“Things change? Shit,” Alex made a tsk sound and rolled through the thoughts in her head. She wasn’t sure if Levi had actually just insulted her by saying that she could take orders well or not. And since when was he comfortable with not being in charge? What had happened on the surface?

“I can’t just leave them.” She spun back to him. “I can’t just not go and say goodbye or anything. You even told us before you just up and left! I can’t just walk away after the years we’ve lived and worked together!” 

“I told you, not everyone.” 

Alex’s eyebrows dropped down in confusion. “What?” 

“I told you I was leaving. I didn’t tell anyone else.” 

“What?”

Levi crossed his arms and looked at Alex. “I told you I was leaving because I knew that you needed to know that I was choosing to leave. That I just didn’t abandon everyone or just disappear like people do around here.” 

She blinked at him for a slow beat. And then she kicked him in the side, hard. By the time he saw the kick coming, all Levi could do was brace for it. “You fucking dumbass, YOU DID ABANDON US!” 

Now it was his turn to look confused. “I didn’t abandon anyone. I left a group we had formed for survival in turn for surviving better elsewhere. It wasn’t personal.” 

“It wasn’t - goddammit, Levi, sometimes you can be incredibly fucking stupid.” 

She ran her hands through her brown hair, knocking some pieces out of her ponytail as she watched the people pass on the street. After a few moments, she finally spoke. “This is a life I built. I picked my family. We have food pretty consistently, we help people by things you taught us. It’s a good life.” 

“It’s a messy life.” 

“It’s a life we’ve chosen.” 

Levi wanted to argue that fact, but he understood what she truly meant by that statement. “Are you happy?”

Alex looked over her shoulder at him. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

He sighed, and she went back to watching the crowd. There was another whistle, louder and longer this time. “I need to go soon,” she said, just loud enough for him to hear. 

But he couldn’t let her. Because he knew that if she left right now to go to the group, she would never leave. This was his only chance. 

Levi had one more card up his sleeve. It was mean and harsh, but it might do the trick. And if it didn’t, then he needed to swallow his pride and leave. He rotated his posture so the side she kicked earlier was against the wall. He knew he might get hit again and, after what he was about to say, he would deserve it. 

“Alex, be honest. Who’s in charge of the group?” 

Alex looked down, kicking the street with her shoe. “Rhys.” 

“And who’s his second?” 

“Nick.” 

“And the third?” 

“You got a point?” Alex snapped at him. 

“You know my point.” 

Alex finally turned around to look at him with a glare that could cut glass. “Don’t be shy - if you’re going to say something, say it outright,” she snarled.

“You’re not going to be missed. You’re in that group because you’ve been in that group this long and survived, and those are the rules of the land. You are better than them. Get out.” 

“You saying you better than us because you got out?”

“I’m saying I’m better than them.” 

He waited as she took her glare from him to the ground. All he could do was wait. And hope. 

And Alex thought about a lot of things in those few minutes. The fact that she wasn’t talked to about big plans, but she found out about them from some people that just liked her. And how the younger kids looked up to her just because she had been there so long. And how the shopkeepers and people from other gangs knew her and interacted with her because, again, she just had been around that long. 

And she found herself angry at how she had built up her own placement in her head to satisfy her need to be someone that people thought was important. Because she needed to feel like she was important. 

And she was mad as hell that Levi showed up out of nowhere and noticed all of this before she did.

Two more chirps pulled her from her thoughts, but she didn’t move to go. Instead she let out a “tsk” and angrily kicked the dirt. 

“Look, I have to get back for a scouting mission, so are you coming or not?” 

“Do they even take grown ass adults in the Cadets?”

“Obviously, or I wouldn’t be here, dumbass.” 

She looked at him through the corner of one eye. She was nervous, that much was clear, even if she was trying her best to hide it from him. “Fine.” 

“Then let’s go,” he said, heading up to the mouth of the ally and heading back the way she came. 

“Wait,” she said, and he turned around to find her digging in her pocket for something. “Hold out your hand.”

Now it was his time to furrow his brow. “What for?”

“Just do it.” 

With a sigh, he opened his hand and she reached over to drop a small candy wrapped in wax paper into it. He opened up the paper to see a familiar hard honey colored candy inside. “Ms. Mayfield still in business then?” 

Alex was already popping another candy from her pocket into her mouth. “Yup. And I bet you can’t find anything better in any of these walls.” 

Levi popped his own candy into his mouth, enjoying the familiar honey flavor rush over his tongue. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had one of these. “You’re not wrong.” 

…

Levi led her up to the ground and to the Cadet recruiting area and helped her get signed up and situated. She would leave on the wagon the next day and the recruiters had a place she could stay for the night and wait. 

When all was said and done and Levi had to leave, Alex started to panic slightly. This was the first time she would be truly alone in a while. 

She walked with Levi over to where he had his horse, as he had to return to the Survey Corps HQ. He placed a hand on her head and turned it so he could see her face. “Don’t be dumb, okay? You’ll be fine.” 

Alex swatted his arm off her head. “We are the same height, don’t do that shit,” she said, crossing her arms. “And who said I would be dumb?” 

“You get dumb when you’re nervous and I can tell you’re nervous.” 

Alex “tsked” and then lightly kicked at his boot. “I haven’t been alone in a while. Like...a long while.” 

“You were always good at connecting with people. It’s how you befriended my ass and I still don’t know how you did it. You’ll be fine.” 

He reached for her chin and lifted it back up. “You’re going to be fine.” 

She pulled her head free of his hand, and backed up as he climbed onto his horse. 

“Do me a favor,” Alex said, looking up at him as he got ready to take off. 

“What?” 

“Don’t die before I graduate.” 

Levi almost laughed, but instead a small smile appeared on his face. “I’ll be fine. Worry about yourself. See you in three years, brat.” 

“You better fucking be there, Ackerman.” Alex responded as he took off. He raised a hand in farewell before taking off at high speed. 

Alex stood outside for a while, long past when she couldn’t see Levi’s horse anymore. As the sun began to set, she finally turned and headed back inside.


	2. Chapter 2

It was weird for Levi to get a letter. The few people he interacted with were people on his team, so to get a letter from outside of anyone in the Survey Corps was odd. 

He didn’t recognize the handwriting that had written his name, and found himself concerned as he opened the envelope. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when, when he scanned the bottom of the letter, he saw Alex’s name signed. Why the hell was she writing him a letter? Was the Cadets easier than everyone seemed to remember?

The letter was short, just explaining to him that she was surviving and a reminder not to die. That was all. 

He found it all, but it touched him just a little. 

And then more came. They weren’t at regular intervals, but they were all similar - a quick thing about training and a reminder not to die. Sometimes she would include how long until she had graduated. He kept each of them in his desk, away from prying eyes. 

Over the next three years he received a total of 36 of these letters. It didn’t dawn on him until much later that this was Alex’s way of making sure he was alive, being that the Cadets were so isolated during this time. As long as the letters were delivered, she knew everything he was still there. 

Two and A Half Years Later 

“Huh?” Levi asked. 

“I know - weird right?” A tall woman with reddish brown hair and glasses excitedly bounced up and down in front of him. “Our team was picked to go out and help guard this cadet group they are going to test with real Titans!”

“Why? Cadets haven’t been tested like that before? Why would they start now?”

“Apparently there’s two cadets in this upcoming group everyone has their eyes on. They’re in the top ten, but expressed interest in Scouts,” Erwin filled the two of them in as he joined them at the table for lunch. “I think they are going to try and use them for something when they officially join.” 

“Use them how?” Levi asked.

Erwin shrugged. “I don’t have a clue. But my guess is probably to do more dangerous missions. Apparently the top two are the leaders of a small mismatched troop. You don’t think much looking at them, but they move flawlessly as a team. Or so I’m told.” 

“I’m sure their skills are over exaggerated,” Levi responded, drinking his tea. “And if they are so good, then why do we have to be there?” 

“In case real Titans cause them to freeze. They’ve only used those giant dummies at this point.”

“So this is a test to see if they’re chicken shit, but we’re going to risk lives to figure it out.” 

“It sounds more like a test to see if they can cut it for the Scouts,” the woman responded. 

“Hange, the Scouts will take anyone who can breathe. There’s no need to test them for that.” Levi responded. 

Erwin and Hange nodded in agreement at the true statement. 

“I’m sure we’ll get more information when we go,” Erwin said. “Finish up your breakfast. We head out in an hour.”

…

When they arrived outside the wall at a small copse of trees the Scout Commander was waiting for them. He showed them where to hide the horses, and then brought them up into the trees to explain what was happening. 

“Thank you for joining us today. I know you weren’t given much of a choice, but I also know that this isn’t your typical mission. Honestly, if all goes well you won’t be having to do much but hang from trees today.

“We are bringing in a cadet team today to test two particular soldier’s adaptation and leadership skills. We know that this is a bit unprecedented, but we need to know about a couple of things before moving forward with them. 

“Your job today is simple - it’s back up. The cadets coming in will be split into two teams and have to retrieve a very particular item from the forest. They think they’ll be doing a relay race. What they don’t know and now you know is that we have rounded up Titans to be in the forest. They will have to defeat Titans to get their item. 

“They will have smoke guns. You should hopefully only see green. Green means they’ve retrieved the item and are heading back. If they fire red, it means they are unable to finish the mission and we will need you to go in and get them out. 

“We are going to spread you out throughout the forest. You need to stay hidden and out of sight. We don’t want them to know support is here. Only interact if you think their lives are in danger. We want to see what these two will do on their own. So small groups or on your own when observing.” 

“How smart do you think these kids are?” Levi mumbled loud enough for Erwin and Hange to hear. 

“Clearly smart enough to earn their own test.” Hange said, looking around. 

“They aren’t here yet, Hange. He just said that.” Levi said with a sigh. 

“I know! I’m just excited to see who they are.” 

The Commander called everyone up and started placing them into particular spots in the forest. Hange was near the front, which she was quite excited about, Levi was a bit farther in than her, and Erwin was placed near one of the items. 

The 10 Cadets rode up on horses, the Cadet Commander with them. He and the Scouts Commander explained the mission to the cadets. 

“Are we clear on what needs to be done?” The Scouts Commander asked and received a chorus of “Yes, sir!” 

“Good. The two teams will be Morrison - lead, Sandoval, Norman, Lee, and Vargas. Hoffman - lead, Estrada, Steele, Hicks, and Thorne.” 

The cadets split accordingly, grabbing their smoke guns and checking equipment. 

“It is up to you to fight titans and find the items. The items are obviously marked. This will be timed, so don’t fuck around. Are we clear?” 

“Yes, sir!” 

“Then you may begin!” 

And the two groups were off. As they moved through the forest, the silent Scouts trailed behind keeping a watchful eye over the event. 

Alex pulled her group up on a larger branch to strategise where to start looking. She did this with a quick whistle to signal to land.

Levi happened to be nearby at that point, but, while he couldn’t see anyone yet, he knew that sound in his heart. He shifted where he was standing to get a better look at the small group on a lower branch. 

Did she really teach this group how to communicate through whistling?

It took a bit of maneuvering where he could get close enough to see the team. Alex clearly had everyone’s attention. One of the guys were talking.

“We don’t have any information about what exactly this thing is, other than it’s supposed to be very obvious. So do we have to comb the whole forest for this thing?”

“Let’s split up,” a shorter girl announced confidently. “Just to look. If we find something, we call the group and assess from there.” 

“You think they’re really, really using real Titans?” a different boy asked, his voice high in panic. 

“Obviously, Norman. We’re out past the wall, aren’t we? Not super far from it, but far enough. And Titans just walk up to the damn wall, don’t they? So why wouldn’t they be out here?” the first man responded again, crossing his arms and clearly agitated. 

“Why would they do that? I mean, we haven’t even graduated yet? What are they thinking, we don’t know what we’re doing! What if we die out here? What if -”

Alex smacked the back of Norman’s head, and the boy stopped, and then to seem to visibly calm down some. He mumbled a thanks. 

“I like Lee’s plan. Normal spotting whistle. If nothing within 5 minutes, head back here. Got it?”

There was a chorus of “Yes,” before they all took off in different directions. 

Levi couldn’t help but be impressed by how much confidence Alex had - and not in the same way that she did in the Underground. He could tell by her letters that she was thriving in the Cadets, but seeing it was something else. 

“Shit,” Levi heard one of the other Scouts mumble behind him. “Are we supposed to have someone follow each of them?” 

“I don’t think so,” Levi said, looking around. 

A couple minutes later he heard a whistle farther to the north. The other four people soon whooshed by as they headed toward the whistle. At this point, Levi was curious enough to follow - just to see what they would do. 

He ended up landing near Erwin who was watching them intently. 

The five were each on a different branch. On the ground was a camping backpack with streamers coming off of it, but around it was three 5-meter Titans milling about, having not noticed the cadets yet. 

Levi noticed that the four others looked to Alex, waiting to be told what to do. They fully trusted her judgement in the moment. 

Alex was watching, taking in everything - the bag, the Titans, the trees near each Titan. They only had one chance before they lost the surprise element on these Titans and everything would become significantly harder to defeat. 

Sandoval and her could take out a Titan each, but Vargas and Norman would do better if they teamed up, which just left Lee to shoot the smoke pellet and grab the bag. 

They could do that. 

She looked at each individually and whistled a short command. 

Sandoval Left. Morrison Center. Vargas and Norman Right. Lee Center, but she pointed down at the bag. He got it. 

As they set to get ready, one of the Titans turned and noticed them, and began to charge. 

“Shit,” Alex said, as she dropped down to take care of it. When she moved, the other three moved as well, adjusting quickly to the new plan. Same places, just now moving targets. 

Erwin and Levi couldn’t help but be shocked at how fast these cadets took out the three Titans. They watched as the last one dropped down to the bag, fired off the green smoke, and then tugged the backpack on his back. 

The rest of the team adjusted around him so that he was guarded and headed off to the front. 

“Holy shit,” Levi said watching them go. 

“Holy shit,” Erwin echoed. 

…

The scouts hidden in the trees that were watching over the first group also headed back to the front, silently behind. 

The group turned in their item, and the Commanders seemed to be clearly impressed. They were instructed to return to the trees until the other team arrived. 

The first group did so without complaint, a couple of them thankful to rest. 

Alex, however, kept her eyes trained on the inner forest. Waiting. Watching. 

Two hours went by and the group of five started to get antsy. They started mumbling with each other, debating if they should go look for the other group or if they honestly were still looking for the item, which all of them doubted. 

“I don’t like this,” Sandoval said, a beautiful, tall woman with beautiful dark skin and black eyes said, “They’ve been out for way too long.” 

Alex nodded in agreement. “Something’s up.” 

They were silent again for a few more minutes, but none of them were sitting now. All of them were standing and watching the forest, clearly unnerved that their group, their full group, was not whole yet. 

A low whistle sounded from in the forest and the five of them took off toward it before Levi was even able to process what the code was. Hurt. Someone was injured. 

“Hey! We got an injured cadet coming in!” He shouted back at his team. 

“How do you know that?” Erwin asked, looking at him confused. 

“I just do. Trust me on this one.” 

Sure enough not two minutes later, the one called Sandoval was back carrying someone on her back. His leg was clearly broken. 

Sandoval dropped him off on a high branch and got to work on setting and bounding his leg. At that point the Cadet Commander joined her. 

“What happened?” 

“I landed wrong,” the broken leg kid choked out, tears streaming down his face. “I didn’t see the Titan in time and maneuvered awkwardly and didn’t brace myself right for the landing.” 

The Commander sighed, rubbing his forehead. “We’ll get you packed up when we get back.” 

Alex and the other three came out of the forest and back to the branch. 

“I didn’t see anyone else,” Alex said, looking at the boy. “Hicks, where is everyone?”

“They’re with Hoffman,” he said, before letting out a cry as Sandoval worked on his leg. “Thorne got me back enough, and then went to help them get the item.” 

Alex let out a tsk, and paced nervously on the branch. “If he fucking dies, I’m going to kill him.”

Not too long after that, there was the sound of a shot and the group up front could see green smoke. It was another 7 minutes before the rest of the team arrived and the group of cadets finally physically relaxed. Although Alex was giving two of the men who came back a full earful over something.

“They’re a really close group,” Hange said as she stood on a branch with Erwin and Levi, far enough back to not be spotted still. “I think there was more than leadership being tested.” 

“Did you see how quick they responded to the whistle from the other team? Didn’t even think, just moved.” Erwin added in. “I think you’re right. And when did they make a way to communicate with whistles? To add to that, Levi, how did you know what that last one meant?”

Levi took a breath, but before he could respond, Hange jumped in instead. “Does this have to deal with the letters you’ve been getting the last couple of years?”

“How do you know about those?”

“Well, you never got any mail before, so it was a noticeable change.” 

“Your observation skills are scary,” Levi retorted, but the conversation was cut short as the Survey Commander called them down to leave. They hadn’t noticed that the Cadet group was already heading out. 

Erwin used the ride back to see what he could get out of the Commander, but wasn’t able to give Levi and Hange as much information as they were hoping. Yes, it was a test. Yes, there was a plan for the team as a whole, but that’s all the Commander would say. 

They, like the rest of the Survey Corps, would have to wait and see what the future holds.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the love and support already, everyone! It motivates me so much to keep on writing!
> 
> I will try my best to update what I can every weekend - it's really the only time I have to do it. 
> 
> I am also not a straightforward writer. What I mean by that is that I write whatever is currently prominent in my head at that moment. (i.e. I've written three chapters this week, but there's a lot of chapters in between those that I need to write.) My goal is to get one to two chapters to y'all every weekend. 
> 
> Thank you for being such amazing readers!
> 
> -Kaits

Six Months Later

Levi headed back to the barracks to change before the new cadets arrived and was surprised to find the door to the men’s side not fully shut. He slowly pushed the door open and saw a very familiar form digging around his bunk. He sighed, thinking about how he was going to have to clean it all again since she wasn’t being exactly careful while digging through everything. 

“Hange,” he stated, causing the woman to jump and bump her head on the bunk above his. 

“Levi! What are you doing here?”

“It’s the men’s barracks, Hange. What are you doing here?”

Hange looked around nervously, moving a couple things back haphazardly. “Nothing important! I just...thought I lost something in here?”

“Huh? How would you...never mind.” Levi walked over to his bunk and went to the small drawer set everyone had that was off to the side of the bunks. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a stack of letters and held them out to her. “Were you looking for these?”

Hange was bright red at this point and waving her hands frantically in front of her. “Letters? Why on earth would I be wanting letters that you have? Don’t be silly -“

Levi narrowed his eyes at her and sighed. “You’re impossible.” He went to put them back but Hange slightly lunged for them before stopping herself. Levi just sighed and dropped them in her hands. “You understand there’s nothing exciting in them, right?”

Hange wasn’t paying attention as she was already reading through one of the letters. Her eyes took in the words quickly. Then he realized what she was looking for. 

“Their name is Alex.” She stated, already opening up another. 

“Yes, her name is Alex Morrison. You’ve already technically met her.” 

Hange looked up quickly. “Wait - when did...was she in that cadet group?”

Levi nodded, holding out his hand for the letters to be returned to him. “But she never told me details about the test in the letters.” 

With a sigh and a pout, Hange stopped skimming the postage date and put the letter she had hastily opened back in the envelope and into the correct spot in the pile. Then she handed them all back to Levi. 

He took them and placed them back in the drawer as Hange continued talking. “So, you’re going to introduce us, right? Since we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other and there’s not exactly a lot of women in the Scouts, anyway.”

“Hange, you’re going to meet her, but right now I really need you to leave so I can change.” 

“You didn’t really answer my question, but now I have another - “ 

“Get out, Hange,” 

“But this is exciting! You don’t share much about yourself and here is this whole other person who knows you -“

“Get out, Hange, or I’m not pointing her out when she comes.” 

Hange shut her mouth, but looked at him a little hurt. “Fine,” she sighed, before walking out of the room and shutting the door, quite loudly, behind her. 

Levi ran a hand through his hair and stared at his area, debating if he should clean first, and then change. He was already halfway through remaking his bunk when he realized he was doing and silently cursed Hange for being so nosy and thorough in anything she researched; including himself, apparently. 

...

Upstairs, Alex Morrison was being introduced to the rest of the Squad Leaders. She stood at the back of the room, leaning against the wall, eyes cast downward as Shadis explained her new role to the group. None of the current leaders were happy, but she couldn’t blame them. She didn’t ask for this role - it was more or less told to her that she would need to take it if she and her team would like to remain together as they originally expressed before graduation. And after discussing it with her team, and failing to convince anyone to give the role to Hoffman, she did. 

“So, again, Morrison’s team will not be interfering with yours. She will not be gaining any members from your squads. She came from the cadets with her own and will be working strictly with them.” Shadis told the other Leaders around the table.

“She will specifically be doing missions where we don’t want to waste soldiers to explore ideas. There will be times that this group will go on full missions with us, but not always. I expect that you treat her with equal respect that you treat each other. You are dismissed, but Morrison, you stay behind, we need to talk about what you’re doing for your first mission.” 

The rest of the squad leaders left and as soon as the door shut, Shadis pulled out a map and laid it out on the table. He took up a quill and started marking different areas on it. “So your next few missions actually all connect. We are going to have your group travel between gates and mark out how many Titans you see as well as if you think there’s anywhere that we could get away with building a base.” 

“You want a base...outside of the protection of the walls?” Alex asked, confused.

“Yes. Have you ever found it weird that we have a full map of where we live, but we can’t get past a point of it? Maps have to be updated, but we are limited how far we can travel. With a base we would have a natural rest stop to push forward in a general direction.

“Now, our goal will be to eventually push South, since most of them seem to come from that direction, but I also want to see what is around other sides of us. So, for this first one, I want your team to head out the Western gate and head to the Northern gate. It should only take about a week. Just document what you see, add things to the map you think are important. And, if you happen to think there’s an area we could build a base, let us know when you’re back.” 

Alex blinked at the man, but nodded her head. She fully thought his idea was crazy, but he was the boss and they were warned about this. “When do we leave?”

“Two days.” 

“Two days?!” 

“That gives you plenty of time to meet people here and grab supplies before heading out. You understand that your team will have more than just a monthly mission? I thought this was made clear to you.” 

“That was, but -“ 

“Good, then you understand. This should be a fairly straightforward trip, then. And based on what you find we will adjust what you are doing in the future.” 

Shadis folded up the map and handed it toward her, as well as a blank journal and wrapped charcoal sticks. “Also, this was sent for you from one of the newer Military recruits. I’m assuming to take notes.” 

Alex picked up the map, journal, and charcoal sticks and smiled down at the journal fondly. “Uh, yeah. Thanks.” 

“We are counting on your team to help make our future missions more successful. You are dismissed.” 

Alex left the room, mind still reeling over the short time before they would be out beyond the walls. Her team wouldn’t be exactly pleased. They were hoping for some sort of break between graduation and their first mission. 

As she was heading out, she noticed one of the squad leaders, a tall, blonde man with large eyebrows, waiting outside for her. She stopped in front of him. 

“So you’re a suicide squad, then?” He asked, clearly aware of what would be required of her and her team, even without her mission details. 

“Yeah, I guess. But you heard the Commander. We won’t be bothering anyone on your team.” She moved to continue walking, but his voice stopped her.

“Why did you sign up for this?” 

She looked at him, quizzically. “Sign up for what? A suicide squad?” 

He nodded. 

“Isn’t everyone who signed up for the Survey Corps really signing up to be on a suicide squad?” she replied, watching eyebrows drop lower on his face. “But to answer your question, my team didn’t want to be split, and this is what they said was necessary to be together.” 

He was quiet for a moment before offering his hand forward, “I’m Erwin.”

She shook it awkwardly, “Alex.” 

“Let me know if you need anything. I know not everyone is happy to have a squad leader come straight from the cadets, but they put you and your team here for a reason.” 

“Uh, thanks.” Alex said awkwardly as he walked away. After watching him for a long moment, she headed down the stairs and outside to find her team, who, knowing them, were lounging around somewhere in the sun. 

...

Outside, Hange and Levi were watching the groups of cadets mill about. 

“There’s more this year than normal,” Hange commented, more to herself. “Is she here?” 

“Hange, I told you, when I see her I will let you know.” 

“But why wouldn’t she be with the other cadets?” 

Levi just shrugged, watching everyone interact. Hange was getting impatient. “Let’s just go ask someone where she is.” 

“No.” 

“Aw, come on!” 

“No.” 

Hange crossed her arms and pouted, one leg tapping the ground repeatedly. 

“Would you quit that?” Levi huffed, crossing his own arms and leaning against the wall where they were standing. “It’s annoying. Why are you so adamant about meeting her anyway?” 

“Have you heard of any other cadet getting a special test to see their skills? I have so many questions. And the fact that you know her means I have more questions!” 

“Hange, control yourself.” 

Hange huffed before finally making a decision and, without consulting Levi, took off for one of the groups, ignoring his “Hey!” coming from behind her. He would follow, she knew. 

She approached a couple of new Scouts, introducing herself and Levi, who was not pleased to be dragged over, even if he technically came over by himself. 

“We were looking for someone that would’ve been in your graduating class, Alex?” 

“Oh, yeah. I don’t know where she went,” the tall girl with long, brown hair responded to Hange. “I think the Commander wanted to talk to her when she got here. But her team’s over there,” she finished, pointing to a tree off in the distance where a small group of people were hanging out.

“The Commander?” 

“Didn’t you know? She’s already a Squad Leader. But I mean, none of us were surprised when we were told. It was going to be her or Hoffman.” the girl responded, with her friend nodding in the background.

“Thanks so much!” Hange said, grabbing Levi’s arm and pulling him to the group the girl had pointed out to her. 

The two other new Scouts just shrugged at each other as they watched the veterans walk off. 

Levi pulled his arm free from Hange and stuck his hands in his pockets. 

“She’s already a Squad Leader? How did she manage that?” Hange mumbled out loud, but Levi didn’t have any answer for her.

Once they had approached the other group, Hange reintroduced themselves again. 

“Levi?” One of the girls with bright red hair sitting on the ground said, “Why is that name familiar?” 

“Didn’t the Boss have a friend with that name?” Another of the kids asked, one Levi recognized from the branches of the test. A couple of the other kids shrugged. 

“It’s not like she talked about her past with us very often,” the tall, black woman stated. “Is there any reason that you’re looking for her?”

Hange wasn’t expecting that question, but Levi smoothly covered for her. “We heard she was a Squad Leader, and we wanted to meet the cadet who managed to jump that high so quickly.” 

Hange gave Levi a side glance, but he just slightly shook his head. She accepted it and waited for their response. 

“Well, if you were shoved off a wall into a group of Titans and came back alive, you might be too,” another girl piped up, this one of average height, but with long black hair. 

“What?” Hange and Levi said at the same time. 

“To be fair, she didn’t get pushed. She jumped over because I was pushed,” said a smaller boy fLevi recognized from the test - the one that Alex had smacked on the back of the head. “And Hoffman did jump over, too. But since she killed two and he only killed one, she gets more credit.” 

“I really need to hear this full story - ,” Hange started, but was cut off by the redhead pointing toward the door. 

“There she is. Aw, shit, she already has stuff in her hand!” the redhead said following up with dramatically dropping herself on the ground. “I was hoping they were going to give us a bit of a break.” 

While Hange was trying to place the woman walking toward them to the group she saw six months ago, Levi was taking in how much Alex had changed in the last three years. Physically she hadn’t seemed to change much - still just as short and a bit more athletically built than when she was just Underground. Her skin had darkened under the sun to a more healthier color and her dark brown hair was now kept in a bun instead of the loose ponytail she used to wear. What he most noticed, however, was how she held herself. She seemed to stand a little taller, more confident in who she was. 

But something that still managed to stay the same, even after all these years, was how oblivious she was to the world around her when she was deep in thought, as she was currently. He couldn’t help but smirk that she hadn’t noticed him standing there. 

Alex looked around for a minute, clearly looking for her team, before spotting the group under the tree and heading their direction. She was interrupted on her trip over by one of the older Scouts who grabbed her arm. She pulled it free and faced him. 

One of the kids in her team let out a quick whistle and they all moved to sit up and focus on what was going on. As did the other graduated cadets around the yard, Hange noticed. 

The Scout leaned down to look Alex in the eye, and by her face alone, it was very obvious she was irritated by this. 

“Ooh, do you think he’ll say something about her age?” One of the members of her team asked. 

“I sure hope,” a different one replied. 

Levi furrowed his brows, clearly confused. “Why are you hoping that?” 

The redhead responded, without looking away. “She’s nicer when people make fun of her height. She’s mean as hell about her age, though. It’s always fun.” 

“It’s not when you’re getting your ass handed to you,” a taller blonde boy leaning against the tree stated. 

“That’s because your dumbass asked her if she was 12 when you met her.” The redhead stated, and the rest of the group snickered. 

“What do you mean she’s nicer about her height?” Hange asked the group, focused on the ongoing conversation, herself. What had everyone waiting with such anticipation?

“She won’t beat you up about the height thing. She just seems to accept that. But something about assuming her age just irritates the actual hell out of her,” the blonde boy responded. 

Without warning, at least to everyone watching, Alex grabbed the Scout’s head and kneed him in the nose. As he grabbed for it and stumbled up, she stepped back and landed a kick in his side, sending him sprawling on the grass. And then, very clearly, she yelled, “I’m fucking 23 you pervert!” 

The newest recruits whooped in celebration and laughter as Alex turned and continued to walk over. The others who had watched enjoyed a laugh themselves, before returning to previous conversations.

Alex rubbed her forehead as she approached, mumbling as she walked about how much she hated humans. One of the boys standing up patted her head when she reached the group and said, “But you love us, right?” 

She knocked his hand away, telling him not to push his luck. She dropped what was in her hand into the middle of the group and was making her way to sit down when she realized there were two too many people around her. 

She looked over at Hange and Levi, taking a second to process everything, and then she smiled. “You didn’t go and die on me.” 

“I told you I wouldn’t.” Levi responded. Hange bounced on her toes anxiously next to him. He sighed, holding out an arm toward Hange. “Hange, this is Alex. Alex, Hange.” 

Hange took the initiative to leap forward and grab both of Alex’s now free hands. “Hi! I’m so excited to finally meet you! I have so many questions for you!” 

Alex looked terrified, but tried to smile. “Uh, nice to meet you.” She tried to take a step back, but Hange held her hands firm. 

Levi stepped forward at that point and grabbed Hange’s arm, pulling her back slightly. “You’re being too much,” he told her. 

“I’m just really excited and I have so much to talk about with you! Can we go somewhere?” Hange was practically bouncing with excitement. 

“Uh, I need to talk to my team.” Alex said, trying to free her hands. 

Hange looked disappointed, but was not discouraged. “What about at a meal? Lunch? Or Dinner?” 

“That’s fine?” Alex said, and, with Levi pulling harder on Hange’s arm, was finally able to free her hands. She stumbled back, but one of her team reached up and stabilized her. 

“Great! We’ll find you in the cafeteria tonight!” Hange decided and then turned on her heels to leave. 

Alex looked at Levi, clearly confused and he just offered a shrug before saying, “We’ll see you later,” and followed Hange.

As they left, Alex sat on the ground to join her team, who had opened up the map and were looking at the comments written all over it. 

“So this is the first one, huh?” Norman, the smaller boy, asked, “When do we leave?”

“Two days,” Alex responded, and the whole group groaned.


	4. Chapter 4

Hange excitedly waved her hand in the air to get Alex’s attention at dinner that night. With a cocked eyebrow, Alex made her way over with her tray of soup and bread and sat down with Hange and Levi. 

“Hello, again.” Alex started, with a small smile. 

“Ah! The newest Squad Leader! So glad you could join us!” 

Alex cocked her head slightly. “It’s dinner in the cafeteria.” 

“Don’t try to explain it,” Levi mumbled, starting in on his own dinner. “Just go with it. It’s easier.” 

With a slight nod, Alex started on her roll and refocused on Hange. “So - “ 

“So! I don’t even know where to start! There’s so much to learn about you.” 

“I’m not big on sharing, so…” 

“Aw...well, how about I just ask you some questions and you just answer the ones you’re comfortable with?” 

“I don’t think this is going to go the way you think,” Levi piped in, but Hange ignored him. 

“First, an easy one. Your team mentioned something about being pushed over a wall…” 

Alex sighed as she dropped the half of the roll she had left onto her tray. “Yeah, that’s bound to come up and go around. Uh - short story version. Our teacher would periodically bring groups out to the nearest wall and make us stand there and stare at Titans. She was weird. We just went with it. One night, though, she’s clearly agitated, but we don’t know why. Going off about cadets being too cocky or some shit. Then she pushes Norman,” Alex took a moment to point out the shorter boy with black hair from earlier, “over the wall. Says he’ll either live to be a soldier or die, and that’s one less weakling. So then Hoffman and I are jumping over and I’m yelling at Norman to use his damn gear, because he’s panicking and not thinking straight. 

“By the time he does, I’m a hell of a lot closer to the Titans than I realize. So I take out two and Hoffman takes out one that came up behind me. Then we go back up and take the teacher to the commander. She was fired. We were kept as a working group from that point forward.” Alex then picked up her bread and continued eating.

Levi had stopped mid bite as she had explained her story and Hange’s jaw was practically on the table. 

“You just said that so casually…” Hange stated, clearly processing everything. “Do you realize how wild it is that two of you just jumped into danger without thinking? We still have veteran Scouts terrified to shit when they see one, but you just…” 

Alex just nodded. “Yeah, people keep telling me that. But I wasn’t just going to let Norman die…” 

“How can you tell that story so calmly?” Hange asked, still wrapped up with the fact that Alex had just given them a summary in a very bored tone. 

“I’ve had to tell it enough times. It’s not a big deal to me.” 

“You’re insane,” Levi chimed in, focusing back on his soup. 

“You say that like you’re surprised,” Alex retorted, moving on to her own soup. 

That last conversation seemed to snap Hange out of her state. “Okay, next question. How do you know Levi?” 

“We grew up together.” Alex replied, not missing a beat. 

“So you’re both from the Underground, then?” 

“Obviously…”

“So what was it like? Living -“ 

“No. Next.” 

Hange was about to retort, but the look she got from Alex and Levi shut her up. 

“What was Levi like before he came here?” 

“Nope. Nuh-uh. If he hasn’t told you shit, I’m not getting yelled at for telling you shit.” 

“So, he was clearly in charge, then?” 

“Well, yeah, but I’m not going to tell you about it.” 

Levi snickered, which resulted in a glare from Hange. 

“How did you end up in the Cadets? Getting out of the Underground is near impossible.”

Alex pointed her spoon at Levi and continued eating her soup. 

Hange sighed and leaned back, clearly frustrated she wasn’t getting anywhere. “One more thing, but you have to wait here for a minute.” Hange stood up and wandered off. 

When she was far enough away, Alex looked over at Levi. “How the hell are you two friends? You’re literal opposites.” 

Levi just shrugged. “She’s the only one that didn’t treat me weird when I first came.” 

Alex nodded, understanding what she meant, but then asked, “Did she also not leave you alone?” 

“No, she did not. It was either become her friend or become her friend,” he said with a small smile.

“She seems nice. She’s just… a lot.” 

“You get used to it,” 

Hange came back to the table at this point, dropping cups in front of Levi and Alex and then poured tea into them. Then she sat back down. “Pick up the cup.” 

“What?”

Levi just rolled his eyes, picking up his own with his fingers around the top edge and took a drink himself. 

“Just pick up the cup.” 

“Why?” Alex said, clearly confused. 

“It’s just a personality experiment.” 

Alex’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion, but she did as she was told. She spun the cup’s handle away from her right hand and then wrapped her hand around the side of the cup without the handle and took a drink. 

Hange’s scream of laughter almost caused her to drop the cup and caused lots of heads to turn their direction. 

“What exactly did I do?” Alex said, looking more at Levi than Hange. Hange just grabbed Levi’s arm that currently held his own cup in his hand. 

“You do the thing!” Hange said excitedly. “Well, not exactly the same thing, but you don’t touch the handle, either!” 

Alex, realizing her mistake, put her cup back down and refocused on her soup acting as if nothing had happened. 

“Why don’t you use the cup’s handle? That’s literally what it’s there for?” Hange asked, practically leaning over the table. 

“Uh, because it’s uncomfortable?” Alex tried to lie, but it even sounded fake to her ears. 

Hange grinned ear to ear. “That’s a terrible lie.” 

Alex looked down at her soup, clearly unsure of what to say. “Next question,” she asked. 

Hange let out a dramatic sigh. “But why? It’s not like it’s a super personal question, right?”

Alex took a moment to stare at her soup before looking at Levi. “I don’t know how to answer this one.” 

Levi sighed and sat down his own cup. “I didn’t let her or anyone else use the handle when they would come over,” he explained. 

“Okay, but why?”

“That part is personal, and I’m not going to talk about it.” 

Hange huffed, clearly not enjoying how this whole conversation was going. So she tried a different question. “Why did you write letters from the Cadet Corps?” 

Alex’s face felt hot and she knew her cheeks were turning a bright red, as they normally did when she became embarrassed, which wasn’t often. “I didn’t know you knew about those.” 

“Levi never got letters, and then he did. It was something that I noticed.” 

Alex took a couple of spoonfuls of soup before answering. “Everyone else wrote letters home a lot, and it stood out that I...didn’t. And Levi was the only one I knew who could get letters, so I would write to him.” 

Alex refused to look up after her statement, but Hange was giving her a sad smile and Levi was just staring at his own empty bowl. 

Luckily for Alex, Norman chose that time to come over and to hand her a sheet of paper. “Hey, Boss, this is what I figured we’re going to need to get before we go.” 

Thank the gods, Alex thought, taking the paper and looking it over. 

“Boss?” Hange asked, with a slight head cock.

“Er...yeah, that’s what we all call Morrison,” Norman explained. “Hoffman started calling her that in Cadets as a joke, but then it kind of just...stuck.” 

“Also, Squad Leader still makes me uncomfortable,” Alex filled in absentmindedly. “We sure that’s going to be enough to get us through the week?” 

“Yeah, I think so. I accounted for some extra just in case, but I don’t think we’re going to find much to the west.” 

Alex nodded and handed the list back to him. “We’ll grab it and make sure the wagon is packed up tomorrow, then.” 

Norman nodded and headed out. Alex was about to follow when Levi asked, “When is your first mission?” 

“We head out in two days,” Alex said, and then went to put up her tray and head out. 

…

Sleep wasn’t always kind to Levi - especially in a room full of people who typically snored at varying levels. On most nights he could ignore it, but clearly tonight wasn’t going to be one of those nights. 

After pulling on a jacket and shoes, he headed out of the barracks and up the stairs to the roof. If he couldn’t sleep, then he could at least look up to the stars for a while. He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to see someone already sprawled out on the roof when he opened the door. 

The woman tipped her head backwards to see who had opened the door and smiled at him upside down. “Hello.” 

“Couldn’t sleep either?” He asked Alex as he came to sit down next to her. 

“No, my head’s got too much going on,” she explained. “Besides, the stars are my favorite.” 

They were quiet for a while, both looking at the vast endlessness of the night sky. 

“So, two days, huh?” 

“Yeah, we didn’t know it would be that fast.” 

“Does today count as one of those days?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” she said sadly. “He doesn’t seem like a guy who wastes time.” Alex rolled over to her stomach and pillowed her head with her arms. She looked at Levi. 

“Why are the stars your favorite?” He asked her.

“You can make pictures out of them,” she said. “And from pictures, you can make up stories. It helps me relax when I can’t sleep.” 

“But it’s not tonight?” 

“No. Stories can’t help me prep for what’s coming. What sky is your favorite?” She asked him. 

“Blue ones,” he said almost automatically. “Ones with full sun. Ones that remind me that I’m here and not underground anymore.” 

“The sun is nice.” Alex mumbled tiredly, starting to doze off. “I got in trouble for standing outside too much,” 

Levi looked down at his friend, clearly amused. “Why would you get in trouble for that?” 

“Because I kept just staring up at the sky like a dummy. I couldn’t get over how big it was.” She rubbed her eyes on her arm and then looked back at him, blue eyes into his gray. “I couldn’t figure out how to explain to them that I hadn’t seen this thing they got to see for free every day. So I got in trouble.” 

Levi couldn’t help but snicker at her response. He placed a hand on her hair. “They probably thought you were daydreaming instead of focused.” 

“Well, yeah, I kind of was. It’s just so big.” 

Levi couldn’t help but laugh at that one, and Alex was clearly too tired to realize what she said. “You’re an idiot.”

Alex began to fully doze off and Levi lifted his attention back to the stars. It was quiet for a few minutes before Alex spoke again, clearly drifting off to sleep quickly, comforted by Levi’s presence, even if he didn’t know it. 

“Hey, Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for getting me out.” 

“You’re welcome,” he responded. He snuck a peak at her, but Alex was fully asleep at that point. He watched her for a moment, before deciding he could spare a few more minutes watching the night sky before waking Alex up to get her back to bed. 

He laid down on the roof next to Alex, thankful that above both of them was an endless sky and not the rocky ground.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit boring, I know. I'm setting up some things. Thanks for sticking through this with me!

Alex didn’t sleep as near as long as she was hoping for. As soon as the sun was peeking into her window, she was awake with it. She had been getting up too early for the last three years not to, at this point. 

With a heavy sigh knowing that she wouldn’t be going back to sleep, she changed into looser clothes so she could go for an early morning run - she doubted that there was anything in the cafeteria yet. 

She wished she could say that she was fully surprised to see her entire team already waiting outside for her, but she wasn’t. Still, she couldn’t help but grin. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” She asked everyone, joining them stretching. 

There were a variety of answers, as well as some yawning involved. She would just take it as a no. Once most of them felt warm up, they turned their attention to Hoffman, quite aware that on workouts, he was the one in charge. Especially since Alex had a slight tendency to get lost on runs. 

Hoffman had apparently already scoped out a trail that he wanted to take that, according to him, should be a quick run, since they needed to be able to get ready for their first mission later. And the group believed him. 

They weren’t thrilled to be finally returning two hours later. 

“I thought this was supposed to be a quick one,” Alex panted as the group came to a stop near the front of the main building.   
“Okay, it was a bit longer than I thought,” Hoffman agreed, looking over the other eight panting souls. “But was it really that bad?” 

“Yes,” everyone agreed. 

Hoffman blushed slightly, “But you were able to keep up anyway, so I guess that sets the standard.” 

“Fuck you, Hoffman,” Sandoval piped up, even though she was bent double trying to breath. 

“That’s going to make it worse,” Alex said to her, helping her straighten up. “You’re not getting enough air.” 

“Let’s stretch before we call it quits,” Hoffman said to the group, to which they staggered up and went through quad and leg stretches, using each other to balance. 

When they finally stepped inside, they passed by the cafeteria, which was starting to fill up with people. Immediately there was already talk, but the other cadets that came in with them were quickly shutting others up with things such as, “Yeah, they do that.” “Why do you think they have their own team?”. Alex found herself thankful for all of them. 

While the rest of her team headed to the showers, Alex headed back upstairs to her private room with her own bathroom - the one she stated over and over was unnecessary. Apparently, however, this was standard for someone in her position. 

She found it weird that she would need three rooms: a study area, a bedroom, and a bathroom. But, in this moment, she was thankful for not having to fight for the bathroom. She enjoyed the hot shower and the fact that she could just change without anyone else around - even if she still felt it was all a bit weird. 

After fighting with her hair to cooperate itself back into a bun, Alex gave in and put it into a long braid that fell over her shoulder. She then slipped into some black pants and a long blue tunic, unsure of what one should wear when not training and having to gather materials. This seemed good enough. 

There was a clock on the desk in the study that showed it was only 7:05 AM, which meant that, in her opinion, it was much too early to try and figure out where exactly she was supposed to gather these supplies from. There was a lot that she seemed to have forgotten to ask yesterday when she was told when her team would head out. 

Instead, she would enjoy breakfast and wait until at least 9AM. This seemed to be a more acceptable time to bother people, in her opinion. She grabbed the journal sitting on the desk and one of the wrapped charcoal pieces and headed down to the cafeteria. 

The morning meal was fairly plain oatmeal and water, but Alex didn’t mind. She took her tray to a table in the back corner, away from her team, to eat and draw in peace. 

The only issue that happens every time Alex draws is that she becomes so involved in what she’s drawing, that she’s completely unaware of things happening around her. This was why drawing was a great way to destress, but dangerous to do in a public space. 

Which is why when Hange and Levi sat down at her table, she was none the wiser. And why she also jumped when Hange asked her what she was drawing. 

“Did we startle you?” Hange asked, after seeing Alex near jump fully out of her seat.

“Yes,” Alex hissed, easing herself back down. “Felt that was obvious.” 

“What are you drawing?” Hange asked again, while eating. 

Alex turned her journal around so the other woman could see it. “I don’t know their names, but they were sitting over there for a while,” Alex said pointing at a table past them. “It’s not finished, but it’s harder pulling details from my brain.” 

“That’s part of Langston’s team. This is really good!” Hange said, moving it to where Levi could see. She ate with one hand while flipping through previous pages. “How long have you been doing this?”

“Not long. There was this other cadet - Amy Dorian. She taught me.” Alex leaned forward and flipped through a specific page near the front to the portrait of a younger woman with lighter hair and a big smile. “She’s a lot like you - doesn’t like no. I was watching her draw one day and she asked if I wanted to learn. I said no. She showed up the next day with another journal and wrapped charcoal and just started to teach me. I told her I didn’t care about learning, but she clearly cared to teach me, so I just gave in.” 

“Where is she now?” 

“MP.” 

“So was she a top 10, then?” 

“No, but because five of us didn’t choose MPs, she got in. Her parents were thrilled.” 

Hange just nodded with the explanation and continued to leaf through the small book. “How long did it take you to do that last sketch?” 

Alex shrugged, but Levi piped in at that moment. “Long enough for her oatmeal to go cold.” 

Alex looked over at her bowl, confused. It was half eaten and, sure enough, ice cold. “Damn. I forgot I was eating.” 

Hange looked at her with concern. “You say that like it’s happened before.” 

“It does a lot. It’s why she can’t bring that with us,” a third voice said, causing everyone but Alex to look up. The voice belonged to a tall, well built blonde that still had a bit of a baby face. His hair was cropped close to his head. 

“Meet Leroy Hoffman,” Alex said, taking her journal back and closing it. “My second.” 

“Everyone calls me Lee.” 

“No one calls you that.” 

“I would like them to!” 

“You shouldn’t have told anyone your real name then,” Alex stated, standing up and clearing her area. “We heading out?” 

“Yup.” 

“See you later, then,” Alex said with a nod, heading back to put up her tray and walking out of the room with Hoffman, already deep in a different conversation. 

Back at the table, Hange and Levi continued their breakfast in silence.

“She writes notes about the people she draws,” Hange said after a moment. 

“Huh?” 

“Next to all those portraits? There’s just notes of random things that she’s noticed or maybe was told to her, I’m not sure. But she seems like she’s quite observant.” 

“Yeah, she’s always been like that. She watches and processes everything before making a decision. Which is why…” Levi trailed off. 

“Why is why you were surprised to see her on that cadet team a few months past.” 

Levi just nodded. 

“Does she usually become that unaware?” 

“When she’s deep in thought about something. Yes.” 

“I wonder what changes when she’s out beyond the walls.” 

“It’s not the walls - it’s a fight. She’s grown up fighting. We’ve grown up fighting. It’s something she’s always been able to switch in and out of pretty easily. But Titans aren’t the same as thugs. They’re less predictable. You have to be constantly aware of everything around you. And they won’t just tire out on you.” 

“You’re worried about her, aren’t you?” 

Levi let out a ‘tch’ sound and started to gather his dishes. 

“Hey! You can’t just stop answering like that!” Hange said, clamoring after him. Levi ignored her and continued to walk away. 

…

Alex’s team spent the next few hours gathering supplies for their upcoming mission; thankful some of the older Scouts and leaders were willing to point them in the right direction of what to do. 

The plan, as of now, was to only bring one wagon with supplies, pulled by two horses and run by Lee and Vargas. The rest would be on their own horses. 

After double and triple checking they had everything they needed and everything was loaded correctly in the cart, and Alex checked that yes, in fact, they would head out to the wall the next day, it was dinner. 

The problem was that Alex could tell that morale had dropped considerably in the last few hours. It was one thing to talk and plan, it was a whole other to go. Nerves had completely taken over most of her teammates. They sat together around one table staring down into their food, only a few taking a bite at sporadic intervals. 

She fully understood why - her own stomach was in knots and she was quite confident that there was no way she was going to sleep through the night. 

The silence was getting to Alex. She elbowed Steele, who happened to be next to her. “What was that game we would play in the barracks, when everyone was down?” she whispered. 

“Uh...the weird story game thing?” 

Alex nodded. “That’s the one where we all say a word and build a story, right? Haven’t we done that one on an expedition during cadets?” 

“Yeah, we’ve done it a few times, I think. Do you want to play it now?” 

“Why not? We’re too deep into our own heads. We need to get out of them a bit.” 

Steele nodded in understanding. “Do you want to start?” 

Alex shook her head. “No, you start. Then I can be second if no one else keeps it going.” When Steele nodded, Alex slapped her hand on the table, causing everyone to look at her. “Time for a story,” she said with a smile. 

Some of the team groaned, but a few seemed intrigued. “You can add a sentence at a time, but you can’t take longer than 3 seconds. We’re just going to go.” 

“We’re not doing the stupid story game -” Hoffman started, but Alex cut him off. “Yes, we’re doing the stupid story game. I’m tired of your terrified faces. Time for something else. Steele is starting.” 

Steele took a breath. “Once upon a time, there was a bug.” 

Luckily, for Alex, Thorne, who was on the other side of Steele, continued it. “The bug was very nervous about leaving his home.” 

Good, thought Alex. Let’s get it out. 

Lee continued it. “But the bug knew that they had to go outside, or they could never see the sun.” 

And on and on it went. And out came fears that her team was hiding quietly within them. After a few rounds, Vargas added in a funny twist and the mood shifted. Things started to get weird, people started to laugh, and everyone was eating between turns. 

Alex let out a sigh she didn’t realize that she had been holding onto. People around them started to listen, laughing along with them as the story took weird twists and turns. Finally, after the bug had managed to get out and return home, the story was finished and the mood was much lighter. 

“Alright, get some sleep,” Alex told the group after the last round of laughter had finally died down. “We leave early tomorrow.”

The group nodded and bid each other goodnight, before heading back down to the barracks. Alex took the stairs up to her room. She changed into something more comfortable to sleep in, but took a moment debating if she wanted to go look at the stars or really try to sleep. 

She knew which she should do, but found her feet already leading her back to the door. If she fell asleep out on the roof again, she would be okay. But when she opened the door, she was surprised to find Levi there, poised to knock. He seemed just as shocked to see her in the doorway. 

“Where are you going?” he asked her. 

Alex just pointed up and made to move past him, but he blocked her. “You need to actually sleep tonight.” 

“I can’t sleep. I’m just going to go up for a little while.” 

“You’re going to spend all night up there and you can see stars from your window. Go back in.” 

“It’s not the same -” 

“I don’t give a shit. Go back in.” 

Alex huffed and then backed into the room. She stood to the side and looked at him. “Well, aren’t you coming in? I assume that’s why you are here.” 

Levi stepped into the study area, pulling the door shut behind him. “I was just coming to check on how you’re doing.” 

Alex stepped back so she could lean back on the desk. She sighed. “I’m not sure. My stomach hurts and I’m really nervous I’m going to fuck this up. Or someone isn’t going to come back. Or something is going to go really wrong.” 

“Those are valid thoughts,” Levi said, resting against the door. 

“I just really don’t know what to expect. Or what exactly we are doing or looking for. I know what Shadis has requested, but it’s such a vague dream…” 

They stood in silence for a few minutes, Alex studying the floor and Levi watching her. “I’m scared,” she finally said. 

“Scared keeps you alive.” 

Alex just shrugged. “The only time we’ve been outside the walls it was controlled. This is different.” 

“This is the Survey Corps.” 

Alex ran her hands through her hair and took in a breath.   
“Were you this nervous before your first?” 

Levi nodded, “There were a lot of other factors with it as well, but yes. And that fear doesn’t exactly ease with each new one we go out on.” 

“Great.” 

They were silent again for a minute. “You need to try and sleep,” Levi finally said to Alex. 

“I don’t think I can.” 

“That’s why I said try. You can’t go into this fully exhausted.” 

Alex sighed and pushed herself off the desk. Levi caught one of her hands and pulled her back toward him, wrapping her in a tight hug. Not used to this affection, it took Alex a second to process what was happening before wrapping her own arms around him. 

“Don’t die on me, okay? I just got you here.” Levi spoke into her neck.

“I won’t,” she said, tightening her arms. “I promise I’m coming back.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is more of a filler chapter, I'm sorry. Also, I know it's shorter than normal. 
> 
> I'm working on trying to figure out the order of the next few chapters. The flow doesn't feel correct, right now. 
> 
> Thank you, again, for continuing to support me by reading this story!

Alex’s team was up and gone before most of the people in the barracks were even awake. They had a long haul to the west wall gate, where they would then spend another night before they headed out for their first mission. They were nervous and green, but they held face well in front of those who didn’t know. 

It took a solid week to get from the west gate to the northern one, as was expected. What Alex’s team forgot to think about was the extra two days it took once they were in the northern gate to make their way back to the Survey Corps Headquarters. 

So when they finally arrived, they were hungry and tired. They would have to wait until lunch to eat, but all most of them wanted was a hot shower and sleep. Fairly silently, they put up the unused materials as well as cleaned their horses and then went inside. 

Alex told them to meet in her room after they had finished showering for a quick debrief and they went on their way. 

Erwin ran into Alex on her way to her room and informed her that there would be a debriefing the next day, but if she wanted to meet up after dinner he would show her how to write up reports correctly, and she agreed half asleep and not fully processing what he said. 

Once Alex finished showering, she propped her door open and waited as her team slowly and tiredly made their way inside. When everyone was in, they shut the door, pulled out their maps, and Alex her journal, and started to write down anything and everything they could think of that they felt was important. 

No one seemed to notice much when her team didn’t come down for lunch, being that many teams were out and working on different things. But when they didn’t come down at dinner, Erwin grew concerned. 

He went to Levi and Hange and asked if either of them had seen the team, but both hadn’t realized that they had come in, due to the miscommunication of when Alex’s team was originally supposed to arrive. 

The three of them now concerned that they were here and now missing caused a bit of concern between them. They split up and started to look around the campus to see where they went. 

Levi went straight to Alex’s room, figuring that she was probably asleep or working on something intense enough that she had forgotten to stop to eat. When he knocked on the door, however, there was no response. 

He tried again. “Morrison, are you in there?” 

He reached for the door knob and twisted it, finding it unlocked. He tried to push it open, but it was surprisingly tough to do so. 

Erwin came up the stairs and found him struggling against the door. “What exactly are you doing?” 

“It’s stuck. It’s unlocked, but it’s being blocked.” 

“So you’re just going to barge your way in?” 

“She didn’t answer and it’s unlocked -“ Levi grunted pushing his weight against the door again, “- which means she’s probably in there.” 

“So you’re just going to bust into her room...because she didn’t answer.” 

“You’re the one asking to find her,” he turned and looked at the taller man. “Are you going to help or not?” 

Erwin sighed and helped push on the door, which slowly opened up enough that one of them could slide inside and look around - well, they would have if there weren't also bodies on the floor. 

It took both men a moment to realize what had happened. The entire scouting team was fast asleep on each other on the floor in an intricate knot. Everyone’s stomach or legs seemed to be someone else’s pillow. This also explained why they couldn’t open the door with the two bodies that had rested against it. Impressively, both people were still sound asleep. 

“Ah, the first after mission sleep. I forgot this happens to a lot of our new recruits,” Erwin said, peaking in. 

“I’m just impressed all 10 are back.” Levi added.

Erwin shrugged. “There’s a reason they were kept together. Let’s hope it stays that way.” He reached over and shut the door. “Let them sleep. I’ll catch her before the debriefing tomorrow.” 

“Why were you looking for her anyway?” Levi asked as they headed down to find Hange and let her know that they found the group. 

“I was going to try and help her get ahead of the reports she’s about to fill out. They’re not exactly pleasant.” 

Levi snorted. “She’s not going to enjoy those.” 

…

The next morning when Hange and Levi went to the cafeteria to eat, they found Erwin already sitting with Alex, whose face looked entirely unhappy as she scribbled in the journal. 

“Ah - must be about the reports,” Levi mumbled and the two of them went to get something to eat. 

Hange and Levi came back over to sit with the two as Alex dropped her head to the table, hard. 

Erwin looked a little confused. “Is there something you don’t understand? I know it seems like a lot.” 

“What I don’t understand,” Alex started, turning her head toward him, “is what the hell the point of a debriefing is if I am going to have to write down everything again, anyway.” 

“Documentation,” Erwin said without hesitation. “In case someone wants to review something later.” 

“Then have someone in the meeting take notes the whole time. That’s what we did yesterday.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“My team,” Alex sighed, and pushed herself up. “We met up and talked about everything we thought was important. Estrada took all the notes while people just talked. It was much easier than this.” She waved her hand over her notes from Erwin. 

“Well, these reports are part of the section leaders job. So you are going to have to get used to them.” 

Alex groaned and dropped her head back on the table. Erwin patted her head, only to have his hand violently smacked away. Alex pointed a finger at him. “Don’t touch me.” 

Erwin raised his hands in surrender. “Understood.” 

“When’s the debriefing?” Hange asked in between bites. 

“An hour, but she’ll have longer for the report,” Erwin answered. 

“Did you eat?” Levi asked, not making eye contact with anyone, but Alex knew who he was talking to. 

“Yeah. A while ago.” 

He just nodded while Hange and Erwin looked between them a bit confused. 

“I tend to forget to do things,” Alex explained, still facedown. 

“Oh yeah, like when we found you drawing,” Hange said. “Are you ready for the meeting?” 

Alex pushed herself up again and rested her head on her arm. “As ready as I’m going to get.” She looked over at Erwin. “You said that it’s basically just a bunch of questions over what happened and what we saw, right?” 

“Yes, for your team, since you didn’t have any casualties.” 

Alex shrugged. “The debriefing doesn’t sound hard, but this report shit…” 

“It gets easier once you have a few under your belt,” Erwin reassured her. 

…

The debriefing did go easier than expected, although there wasn’t much information that Alex shared that Shadis wanted to hear. 

While there weren't as many Titans on their trip around the wall, there were still quite a bit. They all seemed to either come from the south or had already been there for a while. There wasn’t much out there, mainly plains, which would make building anything fairly impossible. 

Shadis was quite ready to send them out again, but Alex fought for a minimum of two weeks between trips - which seemed fair since the rest of them typically got a month between missions.

After the whole ordeal, Alex found herself mentally exhausted. She headed back to her room to write up the report that was due the next day. Being that she found it hard to focus on something for so long, she broke it into chunks. However, due to this, it ended up taking her most of the day to complete and part of the night. 

It’s going to take forever to get better at these. Or they are always just going to take forever… she thought miserably to herself. 

With a sigh she stretched at her desk before leaving her desk and heading out and up to the roof. 

Alex had completely lost track of time when she heard the door creak open behind her. There were light footsteps that crossed the roof and then a familiar face was leaning over her. 

“You weren’t at dinner again.” 

“Hello to you, too,” Alex said looking up at Levi. “Any particular reason you’re stressing about my eating habits lately?”

“You struggle with remembering to eat when you have things to do. And your team said you had locked yourself in your room to finish the reports.” 

“Hoffman ran me food and made sure I ate,” she responded, reaching up and poking his nose with her finger. 

He swatted her hand away. “Brat.” Levi moved to the open crenel and pulled himself up to sit on it. “So how was it?” 

“How was what, exactly? The briefing? Boring. The reports? Fucking kill me - those are awful.” 

Levi snorted. “The mission. You’re in a mood tonight.” 

Alex just sighed. “I’m restless. I don’t know why.” 

“Did something happen?” 

“No. That’s the thing - nothing happened. There’s just nothing on that side of the walls. It’s just flat with very confused Titans. I’m pretty sure they were wondering why they were there, too.” 

“Are you saying you’re restless because the mission was too boring?” 

“I don’t know.” Alex stretched before running her hands through her hair. 

“Be thankful if they’re boring. Most of the time they aren’t.” 

“Most of the time the missions are straight south - which I’m starting to think they all come from…” 

“Is that what you’re trying to figure out with your trips?”

“I’m not sure. It might be part of it. Right now it’s like I’m just checking out old maps to make sure they haven’t really changed.” 

Levi and Alex were quiet for a few minutes. 

“How was here?” 

“Boring, as usual. How long until the next one?”

“Two weeks, but I think that you guys are leaving sooner.” 

“Yeah, there’s another coming up again in about a week.” 

“Do you know anything about it yet?”

Levi shook his head. “We usually don’t until right before.” 

They fell silent again, comfortable with just existing. 

“I’m glad you made it back.” Levi said after a while. 

Alex just smiled up to the stars.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably not the update you were hoping for - I'm sorry. Hopefully the cutesy scene will hold y'all over. The plan is the next two - three will be more action packed. Thank you so much for the love and support, everyone!

As the months wore on, Alex’s team became quite used to being out for a week and having the next two weeks to prep for whatever fresh hell of an assignment waited for them. And while they waited, different people started to explore different things. 

Most days would start with some sort of grueling workout Hoffman or Estrada had created that would last a couple of hours, and then members of her team started to explore different things they were interested in. 

Specifically, Zak Norman and Amy Sandoval.

Norman had gotten deep into cartography, which was great for the missions they were going on. Alex had gone ahead and let him make most of their plans when they were out as well as documentation. 

Sandoval had gotten interested in medicine and would work on her days off in the clinic, learning everything she could to help long care as well as out in the field. While she hadn’t had to do anything except minor patch ups on her team, she felt it was only a matter of time. 

The rest of the team explored different types of hobbies or just enjoyed the time off, wandering about the cities. 

Alex’s philosophy was that as long as they were safe and this kept up the moral, she didn’t care. 

The scheduling of her team’s missions was a weird one, one that typically was offset from the bigger missions the rest of the Scouts would go on. It was almost as if one group was always left inside the walls just in case something were to go wrong. 

What it also meant was that twice a month, Alex or Levi was always waiting for the other to return. 

They had fallen into their own rhythm at nights - meeting on the roof to talk about the missions they had come back from or things that had happened around the barracks. Or even just to lay quietly near each other to enjoy the silence of the night. It happened almost every night when they were both there. 

And on the nights the weather was against them, they would meet in Alex’s room instead. Those nights always seemed to be the ones where they would both fall asleep during conversing - as if the rain was what they needed to calm their already loud minds. 

One of these nights was now a memory that Alex would hold onto tightly in her loneliest of nights. 

That whole particular day had been miserable and rainy, and the storm only worsened as the sun finally set - not that you had been able to see it through the day anyway. 

Alex was in her room, curled up under a blanket on her bed, reading one of the books she had found on the shelves in the study that was attached to her room. 

There was a knock on her door, before it just opened and Levi came in, shutting the door behind him. 

“Hi,” she said, not looking away from her book. “Are you going to join me up here or are you going to sit on the floor again?” Alex asked. 

This had been an ongoing battle between the two of them every time the weather turned sour. Levi would come in and sit on the floor and Alex always felt bad because she knew that it wasn’t comfortable, but Levi refused to join her in bed. She had argued that it could not be comfortable for him, especially when he would doze off. After a while, he started moving to sitting on the foot of her bed, but wouldn’t come much closer. But even that made Alex feel a little better. 

So she was quite thrown off when Levi willingly climbed on the bed, pushed her body to be more flat, and then laid down on her with his head on her chest. 

That got her attention and her heart racing, which was awkward because he was lying where he would be able to hear it, which only caused it to race more. 

With her free hand, she lightly touched his hair and looked down at the top of his head. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” 

“Are you sure? Are you drunk?”

“No.” 

“Are you sick?” 

“What’s with the questions?” 

“Well, you’re not exactly the cuddly type,” Alex said, running her hand through his hair. She felt his breathing calm for a brief moment while she did that. 

“I’m just tired tonight.” 

“So you are sick.” 

Levi made a ‘tsk’ sound, but didn’t reply for a moment. “What are you reading?”

“A journal of someone who had this room before me. There’s a lot of them, all from different people.” 

“Do they have anything useful in them?” 

“Well being that this is the first one I’m reading, I’m not sure. It’s interesting, though.” She continued to stroke Levi’s hair as she read. Alex could feel his breathing slow down the longer she went. 

Finally, when Alex’s arm ached from the weight of the book, she closed it and placed it on the stand near her. “Levi, you asleep?” She whispered. The lack of an answer was a clear response. 

It was a little awkward to turn down the lamp, as Alex was trying hard to not move around too much, but she managed it. And then she laid there, still stroking his hair, she allowed herself to imagine what life might be like if there were no Titans and no Underground and no Scouts. It was a silly dream, but one that helped her manage to doze off herself. 

…

About three months after her team had joined, they finally found something that Shadis was interested in. 

In a southwestern area, there was a cave that Alex’s team had to shelter in during a storm. The mouth of it was fairly large and it went quite deep, but Titans didn’t reside in it. This excited the commander. 

“What did you notice was around it?” Shadis had asked during her last debriefing. 

“Not much. It happened to be near the end of the forest,” Alex explained, pointing to Norman’s edits on her map. “Beyond it is more plains and beyond that, we think, is another forested area.” 

“You think?”

“Well, we could clearly see tall trees, but they looked to be at least a day’s ride away, and we were already running low on our surprise. We were driven to the cave in a sheer fluke.” 

“But if you made it back to that cave, could you use it as a stop to get to that forested area?”

Alex furrowed her eyebrows. “I guess, but that would be extremely high risk, being that most of that area is just open. It makes it a bit hard to fight Titans.” 

Shadis was already talking excitedly. “A cave would be optimal for a base - being that the physical part is already built. And Titans don’t like going anywhere there isn’t sun…” 

“I don’t know about that -“ Alex started, but Shadis cut her off. 

“I would like to see it for myself, this cave. And I would like us to try and push for the forest to see if this would be a good spot for a base. And to see how much farther we could go.” 

Alex just sighed and sat back in her seat. “Would you like to join us on the next exploration?” 

Shadis gave her a look. “We’re going to build the whole next mission around this. That way we should be able to make it farther than just your team did. So I’m going to need you to go over every detail of the cave, and what you think we may need for this to work.” 

Alex bit back the words coming up her throat and, after getting a look from Erwin, just nodded. 

And with that, the plan for Alex’s first true mission of the Survey Corps started up. 

…

It would take a lot of work from multiple creative minds to make this work. First, there was the sheer fact that they would have to find the cave again, which would be Norman’s main job. 

Then there was the fact that they needed to cover the front of the cave with some sort of camouflage. Shadis wasn’t deterred at all when Alex told the story of how they had woken up to a Titan trying to shove its head into the cave, which didn’t surprise her anymore. But she was unsure that just something that covered the mouth would do much. 

Then there was the preparing of the group to the farther forest. Being that they didn’t know what was out there, Shadis wanted to plan for only part of the full team to go out and explore it. That way there was someone left to go back to the Walls, even if they didn’t make it back themselves. 

Erwin stopped Alex after a long day of planning as they were all breaking to go eat. “Hey - I have an idea about how to make it across the field to that second location.” 

“Alright, care to share?” 

Erwin half smiled at her. “It’s more like show. And I think if you can do it, then the rest of your team can figure it out, or at least who you think should go with it.” 

“Alright, where is this plan?” 

“We have to go to the training grounds. It’s too late now, but tomorrow morning meet me there after breakfast. Make sure to bring all of your gear so we can see if this will really work or not.” 

Alex raised one eyebrow at him, but agreed nonetheless. “Alright. You seem to know your stuff when it comes to formations, so I’ll be there.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For sure more dialog than action, sorry. I'm working on getting better at descriptions. Enjoy!

The next couple of weeks were a blur of work. Not only was Alex working out with her team every morning, she was also working with Erwin on his idea on how to get across the plains safely, working with Hange and a few others to create some type of covering for the cave itself (due to the story she told about her team waking up to a Titan that was, thankfully, too large to get inside, but still trying to get in), and working with the other leaders planning out exactly how this mission would take place. 

What had finally been decided was that this would be a four day trip - if all went well. One day to the cave, one day pushing out with a smaller team to the crop of trees farther out, one day coming back to the cave, and the last one getting back to the safety of the wall. 

While Alex was glad for the short time they would spend outside, she was concerned about how many people were going. It was easy to maneuver a small group of individuals to where they needed to be, but she had never worked with the full Scouts before. 

The day before they left everyone was working individually with their squads, making sure that there was no confusion in the upcoming mission. Alex’s squad happened to be outside under their favorite tree, reviewing everything again. 

“Alright, again, there are how many groups?” Alex said.

“Six,” her team replied. 

“Where are the supplies?” 

“Middle.” 

“Front center?” 

“Squad Erwin.” 

“Upper Right?” 

“Squad Jamison.” 

“Lower Right?”

“Squad Lucas.” 

“Lower Left?”

“Squad April.” 

“Upper Left?”

“Squad Eric.” 

“Good,” Alex took a breath, pointing to another spot at the top of her drawings.”Where are we? Left to right.”

“In front of Squad Eric will be Vargas and I,” Estrata stated. “Thorne will be to our right, between groups.” 

“Then me, you, and Sandoval will be in front of Squat Erwin,” Hoffman continued. “Hicks to our right.” 

“And Lee and I will be in front of Squad Jamison,” Steele followed up at the end. 

“And then where will you be?” Alex asked a very nervous looking Norman. 

“With Squad Erwin, but Boss, do I really have to?”

“Yes! You have the best directional skills out of all of us. When we get off course, you’re the one who will still be able to lead us where we need to go. And you know the whistling signals, so you can direct Hoffman, Sandoval, and I when we are too far ahead in the wrong direction.” 

Norman just nodded, but stared down at the ground. 

“They aren’t going to eat you, kid,” Alex added reassuringly. “Alright, next. When we get to the cave, what’s the plan?” 

“Hoffman, you, and I will get that covering to the top of the cave and nail it down where we can,” Sandoval explained. “When everyone else makes it in, we drop it. And Hange said that the weights at the bottom will hold it down?” 

“That’s what she said,” Alex replied with a shrug. “Hange knows her stuff, so I’m going to trust her on it.” 

“The rest of us will meet you on the top of the ridge, and we’re keeping the Titans at bay until nightfall,” Thorne finally wrapped up. 

Alex nodded, and the group let out a breath. 

“Should we go over the rest of it?” Steele asked, but Alex just shook her head. 

“Let’s just get through tomorrow, first, yeah? We’ll regroup every night to make sure we’re on the same page for the next day.” 

Lee dramatically sighed, and dropped her head onto Vargas’ shoulder. “This is a lot more work than normal.” 

Hoffman nodded at her, “It’s a bigger group than we’re used to working with. There’s a lot more moving pieces. On the plus side, it’s a shorter trip than we’re used to.” 

The group gave a variety of responses to this one, but most were positive. 

…

The next day there was significant tension as the Scouts waited for the South gate to open. Alex’s team was near the front, but behind Erwin’s team and Shadis. They would pass them into formation once they were out of the gate, but right now was about leadership formality. 

“Boss, I really don’t know about this. What if I screw this - ouch!” 

Alex smacked Norman on the back of his head. “I’m going to need to you calm the fuck down, sir,” she told him. “You get nervous, you make mistakes. We can’t afford mistakes today.” 

“Boss -” 

“No. You’re fine. You know the maps better than anyone else here. There’s a reason I recommended you for this position. This is your thing - the thing you’re best at. And while you’re making sense on the ground, I do what I’m best at - killing Titans. Together, we keep this group safe, yeah?”

Norman took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter after exhaling. “Right.” 

“Good. You can do this, kid.” She gave him a side smile as the gates began to open and the team moved out. 

Everything moved very quickly after that. Once everyone was out of the gate, Alex’s team took their places in the formation. Hoffman, Alex, and Sandoval very quickly took their places at the front, spreading out just enough that they could cover wherever they needed within reason. 

Luckily, due to the nature of where they had to head for the cave, there were quite a few trees, which meant using the ODM gear would be a bit less tedious than normal. The problem, however, was how fast the Titans appeared. 

Alex was already pulling her feet into her saddle, ready to take out one that had appeared in front of them, sending up quiet prayers of safety for her team if anyone in the skies was listening. She had heard the whistles start at least ten minutes ago from the side groups, and it was taking all of her willpower to trust them to do what they needed to do and not take off to support them.

She shook her head, refocusing her thoughts, then jumped off her horse, landing her hooks into a tree near the Titan’s head. Flying forward, she pulled out her long blades, hitting the tree long enough to detach and push off so that she was behind the Titan. She landed her hooks into it’s back and shot forward again, cleanly slicing out the nape. As it fell to the ground, Alex turned and reconnected with another tree, pulling herself up and forward. 

At this point it would be easier to travel this way then try to track down her horse. It would become a bit of an issue when they hit the clearing before the cave, but she would figure it out when she had to. Right now, she was playing defense, and the crashing in front of her told her there was another Titan coming. 

As this one fell, using almost the exact same trick as before, she was able to see a glimpse of the formation behind her. Most of her team were back on their horses and charging forward, and a couple seemed to be heading toward the back, where the last two groups were needing more support against Titans that had shown up behind the entire Survey Corps. 

She held onto the branch, letting her eyes quickly trail forward, to see Sandoval and Hoffman pulling themselves up into their saddles. That got her moving again. If all three of them were up, that spelled trouble for the front groups. 

Hoffman was the next one to leave his horse and fly through the air, taking out one that was coming from the left. 

As that one went down, two short whistles caused them to start heading right. They were off course, but they didn’t know by how much. Fighting and watching the group below them was a bit of a pain. 

It took hours before they were approaching the small clearing that appeared before the cave. Everyone was growing tired, but they did their best to keep pushing forward. It was inconsistent how many Titans came. Sometimes it would be a whole herd and other times it would just be one, but each one seemed to drain just a little bit more energy from her team than before. 

Norman was doing a great job leading everyone forward, dodging what they could and keeping Hoffman, Sandoval, and Alex with them at the same time. Alex reminded herself to congratulate him when they finally were at a place to rest. 

It was late afternoon as the group approached the clearing. The three surged ahead, hooking into a tree branch and dangling low over the incoming squad. They released themselves in time to fall into the wagon that held the large cave covering. 

After regaining their balance, they lined up, Alex in the middle with her being smaller than the other two, and lifted the large, rolled covering. Alex let out a whistle and Norman commanded those in front of the wagon to move so that it could surge forward. 

Hoffman shouted, “Get down!” and the driver flatted himself as much as he could against his seat horizontally, giving the small team enough clearance to shoot their ODM gear up into the top of the cave and take off with the covering. 

The team landed up top and unrolled enough of the covering to get out the hammer sets that were wrapped up and began to work quickly nailing the designated marked spots on the material into the dirt on top of where the cave was. 

They watched as each squad ran into the cave, waiting for the best moment to drop the covering and seal everyone in. 

As Alex’s team came in, they dropped off their horses and were immediately flying up to meet them, swords out at the ready. Horror slowly started to fill Alex’s head as she saw the back three teams numbers were clearly smaller than they had started. Those in the supply team had managed to grab some of the horses from people who had fought the Titans and were leading them inside as well. 

When it was clear that Squads April and Lucas had made it in, they dropped the covering. Alex’s team then moved themselves up into the trees in the area and kept watch on those inside. The only exception was Sandoval, who Alex sent back into the cave to help with those who were injured. 

…

“35 are dead,” Erwin said, as he met with the other leads and Shadis, “that’s the final count from today.” 

“Not as bad as it has been before,” Shadis commented, looking over the list. “Morrison’s little team is quite effective as a line of defense. If only there were a few more of them…” He sighed and dropped the papers. “Shall we talk about the plan tomorrow?”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Alex’s team, sir?” 

“She should be here in a couple of minutes,” Shadis commented. 

About that time, a terrified scream echoed through the cave. The leads and commander ran out of the popped tent to see what was going on. 

One of the Scouts was pointing toward the back of the cave, where shadows were seen crawling against the roof, before dropping down to the ground. As they stepped forward and the light of the fires around the caves lit up their faces, it became obvious who they were, but many were confused how they got it. 

Jamison was the first to jump all over Alex for the way they had come in, clearly upset about the scare. He leaned over the shorter woman, shouting in her face. “What the hell is that? Couldn’t you have come through the front like normal people?”

Alex looked up at him and smirked, “No.” 

“And why the fuck not?”

Alex moved around Jamison, blocking off a very ticked Hoffman from reaching him. Jamison was clearly unaware of why she moved, but turned to follow her movement. “That covering is heavy as shit. It was designed that way to keep people in here safe. It takes multiple people to lift it, which means I would still have part of my team stuck outside if we had to lift it for us to come inside, which is not beneficial. That’s why we didn’t come through the front.” 

“But where did you come from?” Hange said as she and Levi headed over to see what the commotion was about. 

Alex pointed into the back of the cave at the top. “There’s a hole up there, big enough Hoffman can easily fit through, which also means the rest of us can, too. We found it when that Titan tried to get in and we were trying to get out.”

Jamison was still hot about the whole ordeal. “You could’ve told us! You could’ve told someone instead of scaring people.” 

Alex placed a hand on Hoffman’s chest as he started to move forward again. He stopped, but every inch of him was ready to fight. She turned her attention back to Jamison. “I did, actually. If you paid attention through meetings instead of dozing off, you might have remembered.” 

Jamison shut his mouth so hard there was a clear sound. 

“Are the two of you done? I want to discuss the plan for tomorrow,” Shadis called out from in front of the tent. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Alex responded. She unbuckled her gear and passed it off to Hoffman, raising her hands in a stretch as she headed to the tent. It had been a long day, and she was finding herself quite hungry. 

…

It was another full hour before Alex was able to eat something. After the brief meeting with the other leads, Alex had pulled those going on the exhibition the next day to clarify what was needed and a reminder of who was partnered with who and doing what. This wasn’t too hard as it was only Hoffman, Sandoval, and her joining the next day. 

Shadis had insisted on a smaller group to make it to the trees and back and didn’t want to take two full squads, so he picked half of Erwins team and the three of them. Alex still felt that the group of 15 was still too many, but she had held her tongue. Her job was to follow orders, not critique them. And Shadis didn’t listen to her anyway. 

Alex plopped herself down between Levi and Hange around one of the campfires that had been set up. She dug into her rationed cracker, hating the taste, but happy to have something be on her stomach. 

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Levi asked her. 

Alex just shrugged, reaching for her water pouch. After taking a drink she said, “Define ready.” 

“Are you finally going to fill us in on what you and Erwin have been working on?” Hange asked her. 

“Do you mean Erwin’s plan to try and get across the plains fast and carrying as little as possible? You’ll see it tomorrow. It better fucking work.”

“What happens if it doesn’t?” Hange asked.

“Well, death, probably.” Alex said, taking another bite. “Although I have told Smith he loses a limb for every one of my team that dies, so hopefully that’s proper motivation for him.”

“And what happens if all three of you kick it?” Levi asked. 

Alex gave him a sideways glance. “Then it’s your job to cut off three limbs. And leave a leg, will ya? I want him inconvenienced significantly.” 

“Yeah, got it,” Levi said without missing a beat.

“Levi!” Hange tried to shout, but she was laughing too hard for it to sound serious. 

They were quiet for a bit as Alex finished eating. When she was done, she laid down with her arms behind her head to protect it from the hard ground and closed her eyes. Every part of her was on edge having the earth as a ceiling over her head again. She focused on trying to keep her breathing as steady as she could. 

Hange mumbled something about grabbing sleeping bags and took off, leaving Alex and Levi alone. 

“Are you okay?” he asked her quietly. 

“I figured this out last time I was here. I’m not a fan of caves.” 

“That’s fair,” he said quietly. “I’m not either.” 

The both were silent, listening to the crackling fire before Levi spoke again. “You should try to get some sleep.” 

Alex snorted and looked over at him. “You’re one to talk. You’re going out tomorrow, too.” 

“I don’t need much sleep,” 

“You don’t sleep much, which is not the same thing,” Alex retorted. Levi didn’t reply. 

Hange came back over and dropped a sleeping back on Alex’s stomach and passed one over to Levi. “Your team is falling asleep sitting straight up. Care to explain?” she asked Alex. 

“We’re used to sleeping in trees, not on the ground,” Alex responded, moving the rolled up sleeping bag under her head to use as a pillow. “Most of them can fall asleep in just about any position now.” 

Hange unrolled her sleeping bag and sat on top of it. “I’ve just never seen anything like it.” 

Alex looked over at her confused. “Well, what do you do when you go on a mission?”

“Sleep on the ground,” she responded. “Why on earth do you sleep in the trees?”

“Fear of waking up to a Titan,” Alex said matter of factly. 

“So you just sleep in the trees?”

“Well, yeah. And then if something were to happen or we all wake up after the sunrise for some weird reason, then we’re safe.” 

“You say that like someone’s always up before the sun.” 

“Yeah, me.” Alex said with a chuckle. “I’m always the first one awake. Dunno why, but I got some sort of weird internal alarm that seems to always get me up before it happens. But if something were to happen and for some reason I didn’t, I’d rather no one gets eaten.” 

“How do you not fall out of the tree?”

Alex waved her hand in the air. “You’ll see tomorrow. It’s not a big deal.” 

Hange leaned forward, the fire reflecting off of her glasses. “I didn’t realize that your group treats missions so differently. I’m fascinated!”

“Well, being that we were 10 new recruits sent off by ourselves with no one to show us what to do, we sort of made up our own things.” 

“Which is why your team has had a hard time adjusting to this mission.” 

Alex lowered her eyebrows, “What are you talking about?”

“I can tell your team is uncomfortable. They keep looking at you to double check that they are doing the right things. They seem oddly nervous about everything.” 

“Well, yeah. Ten and three hundred aren’t exactly the same amount. There’s a lot more moving parts and we’re spread out much farther from each other. It’s a lot of adjusting.” 

Hange leaned back and thought for a moment. “You have a point. You probably should’ve been brought on one or two missions previously. It’s been four months and you haven’t been out with us once, but you’ve gone on how many yourselves?”

“Six,” 

Hange let out a low whistle. 

“It’s just different, that’s all,” Alex said, pulling herself up. “I think people are worried that they’ll go rogue or something, but they won’t. They just feel a bit overwhelmed by how much is happening simultaneously.” 

“Are you?” Levi asked, looking at her. 

“Yeah, honestly. It’s a lot. I’m used to having eyes on my team and only my team. That’s nine people. Today, I was exhausted because I felt like I had to keep eyes on everyone and fight at the same time. It’s a lot harder.” 

“Wait,” Hange said, interrupting. “Explain that last bit for me. Aren’t you having to watch them and fight Titans, too? You’ve gone on six missions, which means you’ve done your fair share of killing.”

“It’s not like we’re all off fighting Titans at the same time, though. And when we have to face a Titan, it’s only one or two people attacking it, not the whole group.” 

“Wait...then what are you doing the other times?”

“We dodge them. We’re a small group, we can change direction pretty quick. We only fight if we have to. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we’ve killed a lot, but that’s not our goal. Our goal is to go and get information and then get back home. Sure, we kill the Titans that get in the way, but we don’t go out of our way to kill Titans. That’s a waste of time, energy, and resources.” 

Hange started to get excited again. “That’s how you keep making it back as one group!” 

Alex shrugged, “I guess? We don’t take unnecessary risks, if that’s what you mean.” She let out a yawn. “But it’s what makes this one so scary.” 

“What do you mean?” Hange asked. 

“We aren’t getting to move as a group, like we normally do. We’re spread out, fighting with people we don’t know well. It’s uncomfortable.” Alex yawned again. “Dammit,” she mumbled. 

“Go to sleep,” Levi said again. 

“I’m fine,” 

“You’re a terrible liar. Go to sleep.” 

Alex huffed, but unrolled her sleeping bag with the feet toward the fire and crawled inside. 

Hange was smiling wildly at both of them and, at the same time, they said, “What?”

Hange shook her head and pulled off her glasses laying down herself. “Nothing at all,” she said happily. 

Alex laid on her stomach, pillowing her head with her arms, facing Levi. She closed her eyes and tried again to focus on her breathing. She felt a hand gently stroke her head, just once, before it was gone. 

“It’s not the Underground. It’s just a cave,” Levi said quietly to her. “You only have to spend two nights here. Just two.” 

Alex nodded her head, but it didn’t make all the tightness in her chest ease away. Eventually, though, she was able to fall into a restless sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - Anxiety. I do add in some descriptions based on anxiety attacks that I have had before. I just want to give a heads up in case this upset some readers.

Alex sat up straight, taking in a deep breath in the darkened cave. The campfires all around were not much more than embers at this point and the only thing she could hear was the slow breathing of her comrades. 

She rested her head briefly on her hands, pressing her palms into her eyes. _It’s just a dream_ , she reminded herself. No one was dead. Her team was safe. Levi was safe. Hange was safe. 

Well, they were safe right now. They still had three days to survive first. 

Now awake and restless, she crawled out of her sleeping bag and rolled it up as quietly as possible. She needed air. She needed out. 

Her feet were silent as she found her way in the dark to her team’s supplies, dropping off the bag and picking up her ODM gear, after disconnecting it from the blades. She attached it as she walked farther into the cave, under where the opening in the top was covered. 

She prayed silently that everyone was deep enough into sleep that they wouldn’t react to her gear as she shot to the ceiling in a quick movement. She pushed against the large rock they had used to cover the opening, opening it just enough that she could wiggle herself free. 

With a bit of maneuvering and shear strength, Alex pulled herself free, taking in a deep breath when both feet were solid on the outside ground. She walked over to an area bathed in moonlight and laid down. The sky was already starting to change colors, already not the deep blue black that she loved, but the weird gray that took over before the blue of the day. The sun was coming, and with it a day she didn’t feel quite as ready for. 

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and listened to the world around her start to waken - the birds and insects stirring and the wind blowing through the trees. It would still be a few hours before the sun gave Titans enough power to move around again. 

The silence was a weird comfort to Alex. The stillness before a storm. This was the best part of being outside of a wall, in her opinion. Honestly, it was the best part of the day. 

She knew she would have to go back inside the cave eventually, and probably best before people were up and moving about, but the nightmare still had too much of a hold of her brain and she couldn’t focus. 

The scene played over and over in her head, a different person being eaten each time the dream had restarted in the night and now again in her memory. She was flying fast through the trees, and, as she would be taking out one Titan, another would appear. This one too far away for her to get to. Then whoever was next to her, her brain randomly selecting from those she cared about, would slip. Or wouldn’t see the hand. Or their gear would malfunction. And every time she would try to reach them, but she was never quite fast enough. And every time she watched someone get eaten. And then she would wake up. 

And as soon as she was asleep, it would restart. And this would happen over and over and over almost every night. Constant enough that she no longer would scream out in her sleep, but just wake up. 

The problem was this nightmare was a little too strong and too real for her to always separate it from reality. And, therefore, it had become a constant fear always at the back of her mind as soon as she stepped out of the walls. Or anyone left the safety of them.

She pressed her hands to her eyes again, creating her own solar system and fighting back the tears that wanted to fall. 

_There’s no need to cry_ , she reminded herself. _Everyone is still very much alive. It’s just a dream._

But she was so scared. Scared of the day that it might not stay a dream.

Alex was close enough to the opening to hear the sounds of people waking up in the cave. Quietly she moved back through the opening, hooking her gear into the ceiling and pushing up the rock enough to drag it over the covering the way Hoffman had shown her how to do it. 

Quietly she lowered herself to the ground, making quick work of detaching her gear and dropping it off with the rest of her supplies. She walked over to the crowd of people already awake, grabbing something to drink. The idea of food made her nauseous. 

She sat against one of the walls, staring down into her cup.

Why was today bothering her so much? How was this any different than any of the missions she had done before? Other than the fact it wasn’t her team and it was someone else’s plan. 

Oh. _Oh._ She thought to herself. That was it. It was the lack of control. That’s why the nightmare seemed worse last night.

Alex was so deep in thought, she hadn’t even realized that someone was kneeling in front of her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she finally heard her name. 

“Morrison, are you alright?”

Alex’s eyes finally focused on the blonde man in front of her. “Erwin! Shit, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” 

His eyebrows furrowed. “You didn’t respond the first few times I said your name. I’d rather you not go out if you’re not feeling up to it. You’ll just cause more problems than help.” 

“I’m fine,” she assured him, but her voice didn’t sound confident to her own ears. “I was just lost in thought. I’m sorry.” 

He stood up and looked down at her. “Are you nearly ready? We’re going to head out soon to try and get some distance before the Titans are fully up and moving.” 

Alex nodded and stood up herself. “Yeah. I’ll get my stuff.” 

“Bring it to the horses, so we can get things attached. I would like to leave in an hour.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t realize you were in charge. Isn’t the commander coming?”

“He is,” Erwin responded, “But this whole thing is based on my designs, so I’m making more of the decisions here.” 

Alex rolled her eyes and shrugged. She walked off to drop off her still full cup and to gather what she would need for the night. It wasn’t much and would easily fit in a saddle bag, which was the plan. 

The issue that Erwin was still working out was attaching extra supplies to other horses that wouldn’t be carrying full people. The goal was to travel as light as possible. It was a test for future expeditions. 

Alex, as well as a couple of others who were fully awake, followed Erwin’s instructions on situating all of the materials, only leaving his, and two other horses lighter, since those would be carrying two people. 

Alex’s team made their way up and out the back of the cave as Hoffman and Sandoval came to join her over near the front, ODM gear already attached. Hoffman handed Alex’s to hers and she silently donned it. 

“You ready?” She asked them. When Erwin had asked who he thought would be able to do this track using his little “trick”, they were the first two she thought of. Although finding a partner for Hoffman had been a bit of a pain with how big he was. 

They both nodded and made their way to the cave opening. 

The sun was fully peaking around the horizon at this point, bringing just enough light to see three of Alex’s team on the other side of the covering, ready to pull it up and out of the way so the smaller survey team could take off. 

Erwin led the rest of the team over on horseback, stopping beside her. He and the two other people he had chosen, a large man named Derrek and another named Travis, spread out enough that the three of them could move easily around the horses. 

Behind them, the Commander’s personal guards, Hange and Levi, were watching what was happening, a bit perplexed. The other six were behind the Commander, confused on the hold up.

“Where are their horses?” Hange asked absently as they watched Erwin lean down and take Alex’s hand. She grabbed it and stepped into the free stirrup, and pulled herself up and behind him. Sandoval and Hoffman did the same move with their partners. 

Levi didn’t say a word, but didn’t like the feeling in his gut when he watched Alex wrap her arms around Erwin to hold on as they got ready to ride out. 

Alex dropped her voice low as she situated herself behind Erwin. “Remember, one limb each.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Erwin responded. “I plan on keeping all of them, thank you.” 

Alex let out a whistle and the teammates outside lifted the covering enough that the team could ride out. They dropped it again when everyone was clear. 

Alex led Erwin around the outside of the cave to the wide open plain. In the distance it was easy to see the tops of the trees in the area they were heading, but the distance caused her stomach to immediately knot up. It was a long way without any cover. 

“Ready?” Erwin asked her. 

“No. But let’s go,” she responded. And then they were taking off, fast and hard. 

For about an hour, as the sun was just starting to rise, it was quiet. Alex kept her head low behind Erwin, using his body as a guard against the wind since he was just tall enough she really couldn’t see around his shoulders anyway. 

She did her best to look around him on the sides, trusting that he would let her know if something was in front of her. 

By the third hour, their luck seemed to start running out. Two Titans were coming in fast from the left. She tapped Erwin’s left shoulder and let out short whistles. Derrek, Hoffman, Erwin and Alex started to head toward the left as Sandoval and Travis took over the center position, continuing to lead the team forward. 

As for the other four, they rushed toward the Titans. Alex and Hoffman used their partners shoulders to pull them up onto their feet in the saddle and, when distance allowed, jumped from the horses, sending their hooks flying into each of the Titans. Erwin and Derrek rode off far enough and then looped around to start heading back to their partners.

In this time, Hoffman and Alex both took out a Titan and then rode the Titan to the ground as it fell. 

They landed on the ground, standing facing toward the horses racing forward at them. Alex braced her right shoulder with her left hand and extended her right arm. As Erwin came racing forward, he reached down and grabbed her forearm, and she his, and then he pulled Alex up and toward him. The force of the horse alone was enough to make her airborne, but the pulling of Erwin’s arm toward him was what helped her spin around and land on the back of the saddle, feet balanced on the back and and hand on Erwin’s shoulder. 

Hoffman struggled a bit more with the landing, but they were both on and racing back toward the formation. 

Alex let out a breath as she saw Hoffman and Derrek moving in pace with them back to formation. She gave Erwin’s shoulder a squeeze, a quick acknowledgement that all was currently well and to keep going. 

Hange, completely distracted from watching what transpired, mouth open in awe. “That’s what they’ve been practicing! A way to keep everything moving and people together!” She let out a laugh, slightly falling out of formation.

“Hange, pay attention!” Levi shouted at her getting her to refocus. Hange waved a hand at him and realigned where she needed to be, excited to watch the pairs in front fight some more.

When it was clear after a few minutes that there wasn’t anything else heading toward them, Hoffman and Alex slid back into their seats, eyes watching for anything else coming their way. 

…

In all honesty, they were fairly lucky as they approached the forest. While they had run into a few Titans, there was not a group larger than three that they couldn’t take down. 

Alex felt relieved when she could get off the saddle and into the trees, her shoulder throbbing from being yanked up so many times, her thighs and lower back hurting from the ride over. Being on her own in the air was so freeing. 

Her small team watched over the group below, following them closely to a clearing deep into the woods that would serve as their camp for the time being. 

While some stayed on the ground to set up a small camp and discussing everything they noticed on the way over and about the forest itself, the rest joined Alex, Hoffman, and Sandoval in the trees above. 

They were spread out, a larger circle on the circumference of the clearing, watching for anything slipping through the trees. It was fairly quiet and the forest was starting to grow dark pretty quickly. The problem that Alex’s team had learned, however, was that just because the forest was dark didn’t mean that the sun had set yet. Or that the Titans were ready to sleep. 

Hoffman gave a light whistle, but Alex was already jumping up to the higher branches. Hoffman and Sandoval moved to a couple of the branches underneath her, prepped to catch her if she fell.

Once Alex found a branch high enough that wouldn’t snap with her weight, she climbed underneath it and fastened her hooks into it, and then she let herself fall backwards for a long way. Her drop pulled the eyes of those in the upper circle of people.

About the time many were starting to mumble about what she was possibly doing, she reversed the pull and shot herself upward. As she neared the branch, she released her hooks, and the momentum let her fly past the branch and just high enough over the trees to look around. 

This was a fairly small forest, and she could see a good half of the edge just from this one shot upward. She could see the fading sun, which meant she was facing west. A fewTitans were heading toward the forest from the south and two from the northwest. 

As she fell, she waited until she passed the branch she started at to catch herself and then, after letting herself drop farther down again, launched herself back in the air. Once she was free at the top she spun herself around, but that half of the forest was already coated in shadow. She couldn’t see anything. 

She landed easily enough on the branch and was getting ready to make her way back down to report to her team, when she saw the movement across from her, moving quickly through the trees. It was small and fast, but still had enough energy from the fading light. It was heading straight for the clearing and the closest one to it was Levi. And she couldn’t get to it. 

In that moment her nightmare tried to overtake her vision, but she pushed it away and whistled in panic. A looping sound, and then two short ones and a long one. 

Levi looked across the clearing when he heard the whistles, processing what he was hearing. The first sound was him - his name . The second part was more confusing. A pigeon to the right? A pigeon is what they would call a target years ago, but why - 

Not a pigeon, he realized. He heard it before he saw it, the crashing of branches from the darkness behind him and to the right. A Titan. 

He was up and moving, staying high in the branches until he could actually see the creature. Unfortunately, he was farther behind it than he wanted it to be, but was able to hook into nonetheless, and sent himself flying toward it, spinning quickly to take out the nape in a smooth, practiced motion. It dropped to the forest floor, and he pulled himself back into the branches. 

How had she seen it coming?

Alex watched with fascination as Levi easily took the Titan down without so much as a thought. There was a reason for the nickname she heard from the other Corps members - a reason that he was held in such high regard. 

Her team was good, but it wasn’t that good. She wasn’t sure if anyone could reach that level of smoothness with a blade. 

Hoffman was tapping her shoulder, bringing her back to the world around her. “What did you see?”

“Three from the south, two coming in northwest,” she pointed into the general direction of each.

“Hoffman, take Levi and take the two out. Sandoval, we’re going south. Grab Travis on your way. I’m grabbing Derrek.” 

The three split, moving quickly in the directions Alex had pointed out. 

Hoffman stopped on the branch Levi was resting, but answered the smaller man’s unanswered question quickly. “I need your help,” was all he said, and then the two of them were off. 

…

While Erwin, Shadis, and a couple others were out scoping the forest in the dark, the rest of the group were gathered around the campfire in awkward clumps, some standing, some sitting on the ground, but most of them eating. Alex’s team was in it’s own group within the circle, but farther back, still slightly uncomfortable with everyone. Amy and Leroy sat on the ground and Alex stood behind them, farther back. 

Her brain was too busy - too loud. Her fear was taking over in the form of thoughts, drowning out the part of her brain that Levi was still very much alive. But the fear of it happening again. The fear of it being someone else next time - it was suffocating.

The buzzing in her head made sitting still impossible. Her whole body felt like it was humming, like it was trying to regain feeling after being asleep. She hated it, but couldn’t shake it away.

It was Travis that pulled her free from her whirlwind of thoughts. “Hey, Morrison. I have a question.” 

She looked up at the larger boy, black hair cropped very close to his head. “ Yeah?”

“How did you know there were Titans coming tonight?” 

She blinked at him for a second, trying to figure out an answer in a way that didn’t make her team seem even more removed from the rest of them than they already were. She sighed. The truth was probably the best option. “I use the ODM gear to launch myself higher than the tops of the trees to look around.”

Travis’ eyebrows dropped in confusion, as did others who were listening in on the conversation. “Where did you get that idea from?” 

“Um...it actually started as a joke…” Alex started.

“No, it started as an accident,” Sandoval clarified. “When Lee fell out of the tree.” 

“Yeah, she caught herself on a branch and launched herself back up too fast. When she released, she just kept going,” Hoffman continued the story. “We were really freaked out at first, and then everyone kind of wanted to try doing it. So we...did.” 

“It was Norman who realized how we could use it,” Alex finished up, “since we always had the issue of the Titans coming into the forest as the sun set and we couldn’t see them.” 

The group just stared at the three of them, the silence falling heavy on the three outcasts. 

“Anyway, we figured out you can’t be taller than Lee to get it to work well,” Alex said quickly. “So out of the three of us here, I’m the smallest and the best to do it.” 

Again that painful silence. Alex tried her best not to shift her weight from her nerves. The three of them were uncomfortable with the looks they were getting.

Then Derrek asked a question that was on more than one mind. “Why do the Titans head for the forest as the sun sets?” 

Sandoval gave him a small smile. “Ever see a Titan sleep?” 

“Sometimes,” he responded, as others nodded. 

“Have you ever noticed they sit flat against something? Protecting their nape? It’s hard to do that on an open field.” 

Alex watched the understanding appear in multiple faces and let out a long breath. She was thankful Amy had a way to break things down so easily. This seemed to break whatever spell had been over the group and many of them went back to their own conversations after this. 

Hoffman looked back at her and patted the ground between him and Sandoval, but Alex just shook her head. “Ants,” is all she said. The two of them nodded in understanding.

Hange looked up at her from where she and Levi sat to Sandoval’s left. “Ants?”

Alex rubbed the back of her neck trying to find the words to explain. “Um...sometimes I feel like there is a buzzing throughout my body and I can’t sit still. I can’t predict when it’s going to hit, and the only way I can describe the feeling is like ants are crawling over me.” She shifted her feet at that point. 

“You haven’t had it in a while,” Sandoval mumbled quietly, where only Alex could hear. “Are you okay?”

Alex just nodded her head, but Sandoval gave her a long look, clearly not believing her. 

As people started getting ready for bed, the trio went over to the horses, pulling their capes out of the saddle bags of their respective partner’s horses. Sandoval stopped Alex before they headed back over to the group. 

“Boss, what’s going on?”

Alex just sighed and shook her head. “Just a nightmare. And the nightmare got a little too close to being real today, that’s all.” 

Sandoval watched Alex closely. “Are they getting worse? The nightmares?”

“I don’t know if worse is the right word for it,” she answered honestly. “Amy, don’t worry about me. I’ll shake it off like I always do.” Alex gave her a half smile - it was all she could manage.

Sandoval narrowed her eyes at her. “You say that every time, and then you’ll go a while without sleeping.” 

“I’ll be fine,” Alex assured her, moving around her toward the group where Hoffman was waiting for them. 

Everyone else was rolling out sleeping bags, and the soldiers were watching them curiously. 

“Where are you going?” Hange asked. “Aren’t you going to sleep here?” 

“No. We’ll sleep up there,” Alex responded with a tired smile. Her entire team launched themselves in the air, landing on branches about midway up. Hange followed them up, remembering their talk from the night before. 

“So explain this to me,” Hange said, landing on the same branch as Alex. 

Alex raised an eyebrow and put on her cape, fastening it around her neck. “It’s not complicated,” she explained as she knelt down. She sat herself first against the trunk of the tree, and then pushed herself onto her knees. She leaned forward and shot her hooks into the branch and then pulled herself back up and leaned against the trunk. 

Before she was fully settled, she rotated her cape around her neck so that the back covered her front like a blanket. Then she looked up at Hange, who seemed to be giddy from watching her. “High enough not to get eaten. Secured so I don’t fall out. Covered so I don’t get cold.” 

“This...this is genius!” Hange said with excitement. 

“The only downside is it’s not the most comfortable position. But it works.” 

“I wonder if you could do it completely by laying down.” 

“It’s actually harder with the cables. We’ve tried before.” 

“But there’s probably some way you could strap yourself to the tree…” 

“Probably, but Hange, this works for us.” 

“It is amazing how different your team thinks.” Hange said with genuine appreciation. “I’m going to have to keep this in mind for future endeavors.” She waved up at Hoffman and Sandoval, who waved back. 

“Have a good night!” Hange said, and then lowered herself back to the ground. 

Alex settled her back in the tree, thankful to have this moment alone, away from other people. She tilted her head back and stared up at the stars that she could see between the tree branches, their pictures changing as the wind blew through the tops of the tree and moved the branches around.

She knew she wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight - or at least didn’t want to sleep tonight. Didn’t want her brain to transform Levi taking out a Titan to the Titan eating him. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, but the images of her nightmare were quick to appear. She opened them again and stared up at the stars.

Down below, Levi stared up at the three people in the branches, his eyes focusing on the branch Hange had come down from.

“They’re weirdly strategic,” Hange said from beside him, following his line of site. “It’s amazing. I wonder…” she trailed off as she rolled out her sleeping bag.

“Wonder what, four-eyes?”

“Well, your fighting style comes from your background and no training from us, yet you are arguably the strongest out of the entire Corps. They went through the system, but the Cadet Corps doesn’t really prepare you for a real mission. So it could be argued that they also didn’t have much training. I wonder how much of their backgrounds are bleeding into this as well.” 

Levi said nothing, but glanced sideways at Hange. He forgot every so often, even with correctional lenses, how much she actually saw. 

Hange let out a dramatic sigh and got into her own sleeping bag, staring up at the canopy. “I want to go on more missions with them,” was the last thing she said before she, too,fell asleep, snoring loudly with the rest of them. 

Levi, however, was not tired at all. Or at least he didn’t feel tired. He was sure he probably needed the rest, but lying here seemed to be enough. Again, he let his eyes find Alex’s branch, her body too far in for him to see her properly, and wondered if she was lying awake, too.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - blood and injuries

It took forever for the night to fade, in Alex’s opinion, but that’s what she got for staying awake for its entirety. 

When the sky started to change from its deep indigo to the gray blue, she woke up Sandoval and Hoffman. They sat together on a branch, overlooking the east side of the clearing while the others below them slept. 

“Um...who decides when they wake up?” Hoffman asked, watching everyone below them. 

Sandoval and Alex shrugged, unsure themselves. Alex had already decided if they weren’t up soon, she was going to make the decision. The darkness of the forest was a false sense of security that her team had fallen for one too many times. 

About fifteen minutes later, though, Shadis came out of his own popped tent and started to wake everyone up. Alex felt that the tent was a little too frivolous for a trip such as this, but she had kept quiet as it had been set up for him. 

Her only guess was that there were some conversations he was having that he didn’t want overheard.

They waited and watched the team getting ready on the ground, standing and getting ready to move when given the signal. 

Levi hadn’t even realized he had fallen asleep until Hange was shaking his shoulder to wake him up. It took him a moment to remember where he was. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up and saw three pairs of eyes watching from above.

Things moved quickly as everyone was anxious to get back to a safer area. Shadis hadn’t talked to anyone about his feelings about the area for a base, but his silence was loud enough that they were pretty sure what the answer was - no. 

The getting here alone was dangerous enough, not to mention that it seemed to attract Titans every night, which was not exactly ideal. 

The group loaded their materials quickly and were ready to take off. As people started to climb on their horses, Erwin gave out a quick whistle, one of the few Alex had taught him, and the three in the trees took off ahead of the group, moving as smoothly as birds in the wind. 

The trio in the trees were on high alert, but nothing seemed to be in the forest outside of the normal mammals and insects. As they reached the edge of the forest, they waited for those on the ground to catch up, eyeing the open plain. 

The sun was already higher than Alex would’ve wanted, but they would just have to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. 

Erwin whistled as the group grew closer and Hoffman, Sandoval, and Alex lowered themselves to the ground. 

Alex pulled her cape free, folded it quickly and stuffed it in the saddle bag that was designated for her, before Erwin helped her get on the horse behind him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked her, noticing her grim expression. 

“It’s later in the morning than last time. It’s going to be more of a bumpy ride.” Alex responded, getting situated. 

Erwin double checked everyone was ready before leading the group again out across the open plain. 

“What exactly do you mean by that?” He shouted over the wind. 

“You’re going to have to have more than three people fighting,” Alex yelled back, holding on tightly. She just hoped that the Titan groups would still be relatively small. 

They were lucky with the first two groups, but as they reached the afternoon they had a large group heading toward them. It held at least five that they could clearly see. They were moving quickly to it, Alex’s team already posed to jump when they approached the closest two. As they were flying up, their partners positioned themselves to take off right behind them through the air. Six against five was more manageable. 

Alex had the strange realization that this was the first time she had seen Erwin fight - which almost caused a fatal move on her part, but luckily Hoffman had happened to be heading her way and saved her ass. 

She cursed at herself as they landed. Their three partners called for their horses and were pulling the other three up when Alex saw it first. It took her a moment to process what it was. 

“Abnormal,” she breathed as the panic started to fill her. It was sprinting fast for the team. “Erwin!” She shouted, but he was already taking off. 

Alex sent Sandoval and Travis back to the team while Hoffman and her headed straight for it. They were struggling to be fast enough to get up to it before it hit the team. 

When they were mostly behind it and close enough, Hoffman and Alex jumped off, pulling themselves toward the Titan. 

Hoffman had been closer and landed higher on the Titan than Alex. Alex repositioned herself, ready to jump down from where she was on the lower back to take it out at the ankles, to at least slow it down. 

What she wasn’t expecting was for Hoffman to have jumped off and aim for the nape himself. He missed, with how the Titan was running, and quickly rehooked himself into the skin and came flying forward, cutting through its eyes instead. 

Alex didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. She was already in the air, set to rehook when the giant hand hit her from the side, flailing from the pain of losing its sight. 

She went flying to the ground, hitting it hard. She bounced once, and landed on her right side, sliding a few feet from the sheer force. Alex gritted her teeth as she felt the ground tear through her clothing and her side. 

When she finally stopped sliding, she took a second to stand, head dizzy from the speed and movement. It took a few seconds for her eyes to focus. The Titan was down, Hoffman standing on top, looking towards her, face contorted into what she thought was fear. But then Derrek was there yelling at him. 

Gods, her side was hurting. She must have cracked a few ribs with that landing. She would have Sandoval look at it when they made it back. She heard her name and looked up toward the horse galloping towards her. 

She must have hit her head hard, it was taking her too long to remember what to do. Alex lifted her right arm and Erwin yanked her up in the saddle, and it took everything in her not to scream in pain. 

Erwin was shouting something, but she wasn’t processing it. He tried again. “Morrison, are you alright? Can you keep fighting?” 

“Yeah,” she tried shouting back, but it hurt to do so. 

Erwin was moving quickly back to the group at this point. As they moved back into formation, Alex looked around. Seeing no other Titans, she sank back into the saddle, trying to clear her head. 

Leaving her right arm tight around Erwin, she reached her left to her right side and touched it. She hissed from the contact and pulled her hand back and looked down at her hand. 

_Awesome, blood._ She thought to herself. Looking around, she noticed the edge of the forest that they came from. It was at least a couple hours from where they were, if they kept pace. She could make it a couple hours. 

She used her left hand again to feel around her side. Her shirt was shredded, but the area she was bleeding from didn’t seem too bad. Everything stung, and she was quite sure that she was scratched to hell. 

Biting through the pain, she pressed her hand to where she felt the most wetness, as if that would prevent her from bleeding out. 

She sent silent prayers to whoever was listening to be free of Titans the rest of the way back. Because if there was another one, there was no way she could fight, and she’d rather not end up dead. 

Someone seemed to be listening, because the plains were clear for a long while. Alex watched from around Erwin as the forest came closer, telling herself over and over that she just had to make it a little more, and then she could rest. 

Erwin knew something was wrong as soon as he felt the weight of Alex’s head between his shoulder blades. “Morrison!”

She didn’t respond.

“Hey, Morrison! Alex! What’s going on?”

There was still no response. She had been hanging on with one arm for a while at this point. He had found it weird, but figured she knew what she was doing. But now that grip was loosening and he could feel her slipping off. 

“Shit!” He bunched his reins in his left hand and threw his right arm behind him, catching Alex before she fell off completely. “Alex! Alex, answer me!” 

He looked over at Travis and Sandoval and whistled “help”. They rode closer, and Sandoval shoved Alex farther up on Erwin’s back. Sandoval reached over and moved his arm just enough where he could hold her more securely. When she did, she saw what Alex was trying to cover with her hand.

Sandoval let out a gasp and shouted over the wind. “She’s bleeding badly. Can you hold her back to base?”

Erwin nodded, trying to keep focus. 

“Travis, I need you to move, now!” She ordered. “I need to be ready to figure out what’s happening to Morrison.” 

Travis nodded and they took off faster than before. Sandoval turned around and whistled something toward the other pair, and Hoffman was immediately directing Derrek around to Erwin’s right. 

They lined up with him and Hoffman reached out, pushing Alex back up when she started slipping again. He kept a close eye on her, making sure she didn’t fall off so Erwin could worry about getting them back to the cave. 

The group right behind them was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. All they saw was the change in movement, but it was hard to see exactly what was happening. 

“She’s hurt,” Levi said without thinking and, as he attempted to speed up, Hange shouted out at him. 

“Don’t! There’s nothing you can do right now.” 

“She’s hurt, Hange!” 

“And the best thing you can do right now is fight! They are the first line of defense. If they aren’t going to stop the Titans, we stop them. That’s the plan!’ 

Levi let out a frustrated growl, but he knew she was right. There wasn’t anything riding up there was going to do. 

When the smaller Scouting mission made it back to the cave, Amy Sandoval was in full command. She was giving orders and people were moving very quickly to get things done. Her gear was off and replaced with an apron from the medical supplies she had brought along in case. 

“Hoffman, get her in here!” She yelled, before directing others. 

Hoffman had already slid from his horse, and was working with Erwin to as gently as possible get Alex down from the height she was at. Once he had her in her arms, Hoffman rushed to the tent where Amy was at, placing her on a table. 

Erwin in that time finally was able to look down at his right arm, only to see the place that had been holding Alex was fully stained with wet blood. 

“I need Derrek and Travis!” Sandoval called, and both men came immediately to her aide. She kicked out Hoffman from the room and stopped Levi as he came rushing over. “No,” was all she said, turning back around to head into the tent. 

“Like hell-“ Levi started, but then Sandoval was immediately in his face. 

“No! You’re her friend, right? Then you stay out here. Because I don’t know what I’m about to have to do, and I don’t know how you’re going to react when she starts screaming.” She looked over at Hoffman. “And I know you can’t handle it, so you both,” she looked between them, “ are staying out here until I’m done.” 

With that Sandoval turned on her heel and re-entered the tent. The two boys had already freed Alex’s gear and waited for what to do next. Amy steeled her nerves as she started to peel off Alex’s jacket. She undid the clasps of the body straps and, with Travis’ help, managed to get her up high enough to yank off her shirt and lower the back support of the gear. 

She let out a slow breath, looking at the damage. It was a bloody mess, but there was a clear gash around 4 inches wide going through her side. It wasn’t a clean cut. The rest of the skin around it was rough and raw and there was already massive bruising. 

“Damn, boss, you really gotta go big, huh?” She whispered to no one in particular. She then moved the two men to Alex’s head and feet. She crossed Alex’s arms over her chest and instructed Travis to hold them down and Derrek to hold her feet. 

“This isn’t going to be pretty,” she told them, already grabbing water to try and clean off the wound. Alex was groaning in pain from the touch. “I’m going to have to clean this, and most likely stitch it up. She’s unconscious right now, but the pain will bring her back. She’ll then probably pass out again, being that I have nothing to help with it.

“What I need you both to do is hold her down. This is going to be a lot harder if she starts flailing around on me. Do not let her go, no matter what she says, you hear me?” 

Both of the men nodded and Amy bent down and got to work. 

Erwin tried to get Hoffman and Levi to help put up the horses, to try and keep them distracted, but neither of them would move from the outside of the tent. Hange told Erwin she would help him put up the other horses, and to leave them alone.

The first scream silenced the entire camp as it echoed off the walls. Hoffman covered his head with his hands, tears already streaming down his face. 

Levi just froze, every muscle taunt from the sound. For a moment, the whole world faded away with the scream.

A small part of Levi was still processing bits and pieces happening around him after that scream. He recognized Hange trying to talk to him, but he had no idea what she was saying. He felt her hands squeeze his shoulders, and then saw her turn and rush to the other man who was now double over on the ground, head covered. 

And then Erwin was beside him. He had said something as well, but he couldn’t hear it. And for a long while, he stood and waited with Levi.

The following pleas and screams were not near as loud as the initial one. Amy cooly talked back to Alex as she worked, promising to be quick. Promising it would be done soon. 

But for Levi, it’s when the screams stopped that the fear truly took hold over him. By the time he realized she wasn’t screaming, it had been quiet for a solid minute. He started to walk toward the ten, but Erwin was stopping him. 

“She passed out again,” was all he said, still watching himself. “She’s okay. She just passed out.” 

It was an hour later when Derrek, Travis, and Sandoval emerged from the tent. The first two’s faces clearly haunted after what they had seen and helped do. Amy thanked them for their help, but they just nodded numbly and wandered off. 

Amy’s hands were covered in blood as she addressed Hoffman and Levi. “She’s asleep, so don’t wake her. She lost a lot of blood, and might be out for a while. Her right side is beat to hell. She has at least two broken ribs, and a large gash from a rock that I had to dig out and then stitch close. She’s lucky it didn’t tear open anything important. She has a bump on her head, but it’s not as concerning as everything else.” 

She looked up at the ceiling, taking in a breath. “She’s fairly lucky, all things considered.” 

“Can we see her?” Hoffman asked quietly. 

“You can sit in there while she’s sleeping, sure. I’m going to get cleaned up,” and with that, she wandered over to the area set up for sanitation. 

Hoffman headed inside the tent, but Levi headed towards the back of the cave. Hange followed him as he moved. 

“Where are you going? I’d thought you want to go in?”

“Someone has to tell her team,” he said, looking up to try and find the opening. The hole wasn’t covered, so it was fairly easy to spot. Hange followed him up and out of it. 

He addressed the team quickly, who were clearly worried. Those who had lifted the covering earlier must have told the others what they had seen. However, they seemed torn about going to see her or not. 

“Go on and see her really quick,” Hange said, stepping in. “We’ll cover you until you’re back. All the Scouting groups should be back anyway, right?” 

Lee confirmed that they were, and at this point they were just guarding the cave. She thanked Hange and then was crawling through the whole. The other six quickly followed. 

When it was just the two of them, Hange tried again. “Are you alright?”

Levi was quiet for a minute, just looking over the forest. “No,” he finally said. 

“She’s alright, you know. We’re lucky Amy has been studying this type of stuff in her free time.” 

Levi just nodded numbly. He was still trying to process everything himself. She wasn’t going to be able to fight on the way home. She wasn’t going to be able to fight for at least a couple weeks while she healed up, and she wasn’t going to do well with that. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hange said, keeping an eye on him, even as she faced toward a different part of the forest. 

“How pissed Alex is going to be when she finds out she can’t do anything while she’s healing.” 

Hange let out a snort. “You’re right about that. Ah, that will at least be some entertainment when we’re back.” 

…

Levi finally approached the tent a few hours later, once Alex’s team had cleared out. Hoffman sat there alone, watching Alex sleep. She seemed so much smaller lying on this cot, covered by one of the standard blankets. 

He walked over and tapped Hoffman on the shoulder. “Go get some sleep,” he told the younger man, but Hoffman just shook his head. 

“I’ll watch her, okay? You need to be ready tomorrow - she’s not going to be able to fight. She’s going to need you.” 

Hoffman sighed and dropped his head. “I can’t lead worth shit,” he mumbled. “I’m not good at any of that stuff. That’s her job. I’m just someone who does what I’m told.” 

“Then that’s what you do tomorrow. There’s plenty of other people in charge here. I’m sure Erwin would have no problem bossing your team’s ass around. But you’re going to be no good to anyone dead on your feet.” 

“She’s not the one who’s supposed to get hurt. And it’s my fault. It’s my fault she got hurt.” 

Levi stayed silent, letting him talk it out. 

“Alex has always been stronger than me. It was like she was made for this kind of shit. That’s why people picked her to be in charge, and I know that. And she picked me to be second, but it should’ve been Amy. Amy’s better than me.” He rested his head in his hands. “And I told her - I told Alex that if I’m second she can’t die, because I can’t be in charge. I can’t. And she almost died, and it would’ve been my fault.” 

“But she didn’t die.” 

Hoffman lifted his head at Levi’s words, staring over his boss as she slept.

“She’s hurt, but she didn’t die. So tomorrow you have to step up. You don’t have to take over, just cover for a day. Because that’s what she needs you to do.” 

Hoffman stared down at his hands. “What if I make the same mistake -“

“Stop. You can’t judge tomorrow on today’s decisions.” 

Hoffman turned to look at Levi, “But what if -“ 

“Stop,” Levi told him again. “Today is done. It can’t be changed. Go get some rest so you’re ready to make whatever decisions you have to tomorrow.” 

After a moment Hoffman nodded and then pushed himself to his feet. “You’ll tell us if something changes?”

“Yeah,” Levi responded, and then Hoffman slipped out of the tent. 

Levi sat in the chair Hoffman had abandoned, and looked over his friend. Alex’s breath was even and slow, despite the wrap he could see around her rib cage. Her skin looked paler than normal, but he assumed that was probably from the blood loss. 

He reached up and gently stroked some hair behind her ear. “Your dumbass really got taken out by a rock?” He let out a forced laugh. He pulled his hands back toward him and leaned back in the chair, unsure what to do with himself. 

He eventually propped his feet on the very edge of Alex’s cot, leaned back in the chair, and watched her sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for the wonderful support! It means a lot that y'all are bookmarking and leaving Kudos! I'll hopefully get another chapter up this weekend. Friendly reminder that I didn't watch OVA until after I had started this fanfic, so yes I know the background story is messed up. I'm making it fit what I already have.

When Alex came to, she was very disoriented. She didn’t remember how she came to be in a tent, on a cot, or when someone covered her with a blanket. 

She tried lifting her arms to her face, but they felt so heavy. 

“Oy, you finally awake?”

She knew that voice. “Levi?” Alex turned her head just enough to see him sitting next to her. 

“Look, when I agree to avenge you if you die by chopping Erwin to bits, that doesn’t give you permission to actually try to get yourself killed.” 

She blinked at him, clearly confused. “What?” 

Alex went to push herself up, but immediately felt an intense pain through her entire right side. Levi just pushed her gently back into the bed. 

“What do you remember?” 

“Uh, being behind Erwin on a horse?”

Levi let out a sigh and crossed his arms. “You passed out on that horse. Your side was cut wide open, by a rock, apparently, and your girl came in and stitched you up.” 

“Oh.” 

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?!” She could hear the agitation in his voice. 

“Well, I’m not exactly sure what else to say,” she said defensively. “I didn’t think it was that bad…” 

“Do you mean you _knew_ -“

“I knew I was hurt, yes. I was smacked out of the air, _that_ I clearly remember. But I really thought I was going to be able to make it back.” 

“Well, you did, barely. It was a whole team effort. Speaking of, your team is very worried about you.” 

Alex stared up at the top of the tent. “Yeah, that’s not surprising.” She looked back at him. “What time is it?”

Levi shrugged at her, “Early in the morning.” 

Alex got his meaning, even if he didn’t come out and say it. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

Levi just shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter,” 

“Um, it matters a little,” 

“Your second needed it more than me. He’s kicking himself that you’re here.” 

“Fuck,” Alex said, covering her eyes with her left arm. “Of course he is.” 

“What happened?” 

Alex just shook her head. “It’s not a big deal. Teaming is hard to do on an Abnormal. I’m not blaming him for this.” She peaked under her arm at Levi. “Do not blame him for this.” 

Levi lifted his hands in defense. “I didn’t say I was. I just asked what happened.” 

Alex was silent for another minute before looking back at him. “What was that about a rock?”

“Huh?”

“You said I was taken out by a rock?”

“Yes. When you slid across the ground, apparently you hit a sharp enough rock that cut you open and then broke off inside of you. Sandoval had to dig it out,” he breathed deeply, remembering Alex’s scream. “And then she stitched you up.” 

Alex covered her face again and sighed. “It’s not even a cool story.” 

“You're lucky your ass is even alive!” 

“I know,” she said. 

Levi leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms and his legs. “You should rest,” he told her. 

“But I just woke up,” 

“And we’re going to head out in a few hours, and I doubt it’ll be pleasant for you.” 

“Probably not, but what’s that got to do with sleep?”

“It’ll let your body heal a little more before it’s bounced around again.” 

Alex snickered. “I’m not a Titan. Some more sleep isn’t going to make it any better.” 

Levi let out a sigh and reached over from his seat to turn down the lamp that had been burning all night. The tent quickly fell into near darkness. 

Alex let out a ‘tch’ and moved her arm back down to her side. “Or I guess you could just do _that_ ,” she grumbled quietly.

She could hear the chair creak next to her and reached out quickly in the dark, grabbing Levi by his sleeve. “Don’t leave,” she said quietly to him, her grip tightening just slightly. 

Levi pulled his sleeve free, but caught her hand in his and gave it a small squeeze. “I won't,” he told her, putting her hand back on the cot. He sat there, hunched over and holding her hand, listening to her breathing slow as his eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of light in the tent. 

When she was finally asleep, Levi could tell by her slow breathing and how her grip on his hand had loosened, he sat there quietly lost in his own thoughts, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over the top of Alex’s hand.

There was a lot he was processing through, a lot of feelings that he didn’t realize were deeper than he originally thought. He had always cared for Alex - that much he knew for certain. 

Back in the Underground, Alex was quiet, but she was loyal and a quick study. His team had brought her to him after a rough fight she had been in where, even after quite a beating, she was still standing. 

And, even though he was skeptical, he had trusted Furlan and Isabel’s instincts. They claimed she was in the right and could fight pretty well. He had put the responsibility of getting Alex up to speed on them and the rest of the team, but they took it with pride. 

Alex didn’t talk much to anyone for a long time. She watched and learned, but kept to herself. She was crazy smart, and knew how to use her height and small physique to her benefit. Alex didn’t try to move up through the ranks, but Levi had quickly come to realize that she was one of the most dependable to make sure a job was done. 

It had been four months before he heard Alex speak the first time. Even longer before she directly spoke with _him_. Isabelle had been so excited that Alex had spoken to her, it almost scared Alex back into not speaking. The memory caused a corner of his mouth to turn up. 

Then he had gotten out, very unconventionally, and he had just enough time to let Alex know he was going to be gone. She hadn’t reacted then, but, now that he was thinking about it, she was probably processing what he was saying as he left. He didn’t realize until he went back that she had cared so much. 

Learning that Furlan and Isabel had been killed in the Underground not long after he had left had hurt him beyond compare.It had been months before the pain had started to fade and that’s when Alex had come to his mind. And then he had spent the next few months figuring out how to get her out and up to the Scouts. 

They wouldn’t make an exception for her - she hadn’t used the ODM gear Underground anyway - but the Cadets was still a possibility. Three years was just a long time. 

“You can’t go and die on me,” he whispered to Alex quietly. 

Time seemed to rush by while Levi was lost in his own head. He didn’t realize how much time had passed until someone was tapping his shoulder. It was Erwin. 

“We need you to help get ready to leave.” 

Levi nodded, giving Alex’s hand a small squeeze and followed him out. 

…

An hour later Amy was helping Alex to one of the carts for her to ride back in, but Alex wasn’t having any of it. 

“Boss, get in the damn wagon. You can’t ride a horse and you can’t fight.” 

“Look -“ 

“You can’t fight! You’ll pull your stitches and bleed out and we won’t be in an area we can just stop and patch you up. Get. In. The. Cart.” 

Alex was shaking, looking at the opening of the back of the cart. She was struggling with the idea that she was currently useless to her team and they would be fighting the front lines without her. 

“If getting in is the issue, Hoffman and I can help,” Amy said gently, only to have Alex kick her boot. 

“That’s not the issue...well that’s part of the issue, but not the main issue.” 

Sandoval sighed and waved Hoffman over, but Alex quickly smacked her hand down. “No, please don’t. I don’t need any more embarrassment.” 

“You’re hurt, boss. No one is judging you for that.” 

“ _I’m_ judging me for that!” Alex snapped. “I don’t like that I’m hurt. I don’t like that I can’t do anything.” 

Hoffman slowed his approach as he listened to Alex’s remark. He looked at Sandoval for what exactly he should be doing. People around them were already getting on their horses, and they needed to get on their own at the front. 

But a rougher voice from behind them helped with their issue. “Stop being a stubborn brat and get in the damn wagon.” 

Sandoval and Hoffman turned to see who was talking, but Alex didn’t need to. And she was angry. “You’re not my boss anymore.” 

Levi didn’t say anything from on top of his horse, just raised an eyebrow, but Alex knew exactly what expression he was making at her. She could feel her hair raise on the back of her neck from it. 

“Fuck,” she mumbled under her breath. With a sigh, she put her arm back around Sandoval’s shoulder and moved forward. Hoffman climbed up into the wagon and helped pull Alex into it.

As Hoffman was helping her to the far side, closer to the driver, Sandoval walked closer to Levi. “Can you tell her to lay down?” 

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Why?” 

“Well, she’s less likely to try and get up if she’s already down, but also she clearly will listen to you. Pisses me off, but I’ll take what I can get,” Amy whispered back. She then nodded at Hoffman and the two of them headed back to their places at the front. 

Levi sighed and walked his horse to the side of the wagon that Alex was on. “Lay down.” 

“Excuse me -“ Alex started back, clearly ready to fight him. 

“Lay the fuck down so you don’t pull your stitches.” 

“Since when were you a medical expert?”

He wasn’t surprised by her lashing out, but he had already grown quite tired of it. He reached around to his saddle bag, pulling out her cloak that he had freed from Erwin’s bag. Levi had rolled it nicely, which made it much easier to chunk at her head. 

Alex caught herself as she fell over from the impact. 

“Lay down,” he told her again. “And put that on.” 

With a glare, and moving slowly from the pain she was trying to ignore, she did as she was told. When she opened her mouth to reply, Levi cut her off. 

“Your team has enough shit to worry about given their placement. They do not need to be worrying about you getting eaten or falling off your horse because you’re bleeding out. Do you not trust your team?”

“I do!” Alex snapped back. 

“Then trust them right now. They know you would be up there fighting if you could, but you’re hurt and you can’t help. They don’t need you also acting like an unnecessarily stubborn child on top of it.” 

Alex glared at him again, closing her mouth and then dramatically looked away from him as the team started to move out of the cave and forward. The covering for the cave was folded up at the top in case anyone specifically ever needed to use this place again. 

Alex lifted her hand shielding her eyes from the suddenly brighter world around her. The entire group started to head through the forest and back home. She finally turned back toward Levi. 

“Why are you back here, anyway?” She asked him. 

He was quiet for a moment, biting back the words he wanted to tell her. _‘To keep you safe.’_ He instead settled on, “We had to rearrange some things due to loss of soldiers.” 

“Okay, but why are you back here? There’s no way they pulled you away from protecting Shadis.” 

“I requested it,” he finally said after a minute. 

Alex’s face flushed hot and she looked away from Levi again until she could feel it go back to it’s normal temperature and color. But the warm feeling in her gut from what he said stayed put. 

The group picked up speed again as they left the forest and spread out into their full formation. Alex bit back any sounds she wanted to make out of pain - she could feel every bump the wagon hit, and they weren’t exactly on smooth ground. 

She dug her fingertips into her upper arms and closed her eyes, trying her best to not let the pain get the best of her, but it was hard. There was more than once she cussed as the wagon would hit a divot in the ground or go over a rock of any size. It would lift her small body just high enough off the floor that she felt it all over when she would come back down. 

It was going to be a long trip back. 

When they hit more of the plains, Alex was able to breathe a little more, since the grass seemed to smooth out the ride. But the “Shit,” she heard from the right caused her whole body to tighten up. 

Alex looked up to Levi who was focused on something ahead of him. “Stay put,” he ordered her and then he was gone. 

Alex, in that moment, started to panic. The fact that she was stuck at the bottom of a wagon was causing her heart to race. Her entire body felt like it was buzzing, and it wasn’t from just the bumpy ride over. She talked bravely to her team about being able to handle anything, but she really wasn’t sure how well she would handle losing anyone she cared about. 

It’s not that she hadn’t lost people before, but that she hadn’t lost anyone from her new family yet, and that idea terrified her. 

Alex squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her breathing, but the sounds around her were too distracting. When they seemed to stop she was even more afraid to open her eyes. She covered her already closed eyes with her hands, pressing the heels of the palms into them, trying again to focus on her breathing, but she could feel herself losing control. 

The wagon shook as someone landed, or jumped - she wasn’t sure which - inside. A large, familiar hand rested on her arm and she could feel someone kneel to her left. 

“It’s just me, Boss.” 

“Thorne,” she breathed. 

Thorne - the only one who seemed to know exactly when Alex needed to be grounded. Honestly, he was her first and only friend for a while in the Cadets. He didn’t talk much, but was just a comforting presence to be around. 

He had noticed Alex sitting by herself during meals and just went over and sat with her. Every day. They didn’t talk for a long time to each other, but it wasn’t awkward. Both of them just seemed to need to know that they weren’t alone. 

The first time Alex started to have the feeling of Ants but hadn’t figured out a real name for it yet, Thorne was the one who had found her outside. He sat on the ground beside her, in the dirt in the middle of the night, and just rested one of his large hands on her shoulder. 

They stayed like that for a long while, until Alex’s breathing had returned to normal. He then patted her twice and asked her name. 

Those types of nights didn’t happen often in Cadets, but it was what solidified Thorne and her friendship. They were quite a pair, the quietest people (which many found quite unnerving) in the Corps, but they were fine with the company of each other. 

Alex learned that Thorne actually enjoyed talking and was phenomenal at telling stories, but just wasn’t great at doing so with people he didn’t know. And he wasn’t great on knowing how to start talking with someone he didn’t know. So Alex would listen to him talk, especially when he needed to get something off his chest, and he would sit silently with her while the Earth seemed to be slipping away. 

“We’re almost at the gate.” 

“How bad?”

He squeezed her arm, just a little. “None of us, but there were casualties as a whole. Your three other friends are okay.” 

She nodded under him, letting out a shaky breath. 

“I lost my horse, so I’m going to ride with you, okay?”

She nodded again. 

As they went through the gate, Thorne repositioned himself so he was sitting beside her, and then he started talking, drowning out everything the crowd was shouting at them. 

He told her about the two days at that camp when she was out with the other team - the little dramas that had broken out in the caves and the stories he had heard from the other smaller Scouting missions. He talked about how the whole team just needed Hoffman and Estrada to admit they had feelings for each other and to just, please, _do something about it_. He told her everything he had noticed about other Scouts and who he thought about trying to get to know and who he wanted to stay away from. And he kept going and didn’t stop until they were back in a more rural area on the way to HQ. 

When the world around them was humming with the sound of hooves, carts, and bugs, he patted her arm twice and wrapped up the last story he was on. 

Alex removed her hands from her eyes, opening them slowly to let them adjust to the light of the world. She looked over at her friend, honey colored eyes bright and watchful as ever. “Thanks, Thorne.” 

“Anytime, Morrison,” he said with a smile. 

As her eyes adjusted, she realized something was off with the way that he was looking at her. There was a scratch on his cheek that seemed to have stopped bleeding only recently, and the arm nearest her seemed...weird. 

Alex shot up, wincing from the movement, and looked at him more straight on. 

“Boss, be careful -”

“The hell you lost your horse!” 

“First of all, I very much did. Not sure where it went. Second, it’s fine. Nothing Sandoval can’t just pop back into place.” 

“Are you kidding me?!” 

“You don’t get to fucking lecture me, ma’am,” Thorne replied sternly, pointing at her with his functioning arm. 

“Don’t ‘ma’am’ me. You know I hate that.” 

“Then don’t act like you got any room to talk, having your ass carted back.”

“Boy, you know what -”she snarled, but Thorne’s smile threw her off. “What?” 

“I’m glad you’re okay. And you seem more yourself again.” 

Alex pouted and leaned back into the cart. Thorne leaned over and rested his head on the top of hers. “You know you love me,” he said. 

“Not at the moment, sir, I very much do not.” 

Thorne laughed, a quiet, deep one, but didn’t move his head as they rode back together in comfortable silence.

...

Once they arrived at HQ, Thorne was quick to jump out of the cart, only to be met with a very upset Amy who ordered him to get to the clinic. 

Hoffman climbed up to help Alex down and out and refused to leave her side, even though she made it clear she could get to the clinic herself. Being that she just needed help getting to the cart that morning, Amy and Leroy refused to listen to her and let her go alone. 

Levi watched everything happen from afar, mixed feelings rushing through him. Part of him was happy - happy that Alex was clearly thriving here like he thought she would. And part of him jealous, but he couldn’t fully figure out why. 

Later that night, once everything was put away and after he was finally able to shower, Levi grabbed two dinners from the cafeteria and headed up to the clinic. There were two main parts to the clinic, and Alex had been put in the area most empty and near a window. He wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing as he watched her from the door stare longingly out of it. 

He walked over and placed one tray of food on the journal on the nightstand that someone had brought up for Alex, and then placed the other in her lap. She jumped from the sudden weight, not even aware he had come in until that moment. 

Alex looked clean - Levi was quite sure someone had helped her shower or bathe, her hair still damp and in a long braid instead of the bun she had kept it in over the last few days. 

“Thanks,” she said to him, grabbing the spoon and starting on the soup. 

Levi sat in a chair near the bed, bringing the other tray to his lap. “How long?”

“At least a week here, because Amy doesn’t trust me, apparently. And then I still can’t train or go on anything for at least another week. That’s when the stitches are supposed to come out. They said they would re-evaluate then.” She took a bite of her roll. 

Levi just nodded, working through his own meal. 

Alex finished her own quickly, clearly famished since she hadn’t eaten anything all day. She leaned back with a sigh and went back to staring at the window, night falling quickly. 

“No.” 

“I didn’t even say anything, Levi!” She said, staring him down.

“I know what you’re going to ask, and I’m not getting in trouble with your friend or Dr. Garcia “ because I helped you outside. You can see fine through the window.”

Alex huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, turning back to the window. “I don’t like you,” she mumbled. 

“That’s fine,” He retorted. He finished his own meal in the silence, and then he took Alex’s tray from her, stacking the dishes and trays together to make it easier to carry back downstairs. 

Alex whipped her head back around as he turned to leave. “Where are you going?”

“What’s it matter - I thought you didn’t like me anymore?”

Alex made a sound that caused him to look back at her. He lifted the tray of dishes. “Idiot, where do you think I’m going?”

“Come back, though.” she said with a bit of a pout.

One corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. “Oh, so you like me again?” The blush that spread across Alex’s face as she glared at the bed threw him off for half a second. He turned quickly, hiding his own expression from her. “I’m coming back, but you better quit acting like a brat, or I won’t stay long.” 

With that Levi left the room and headed down to the cafeteria to drop off the dishes. While his exterior remained cool and collected, he could feel his own heart racing as his mind tried to interpret Alex’s blush at his last question. After dropping off the dishes, he headed back toward the clinic, pausing outside the door to get his thoughts in order. _'There’s no way,'_ he thought to himself. He just must have misinterpreted it. It was probably frustration. Or anger. It couldn’t be that she _actually_ liked him. And yet…

He took a breath and then opened the door, heading back inside the clinic.


End file.
